showerthought

{
  "id": 76715,
  "created_at": "2019-10-03T06:18:46.000Z",
  "tag_name": "showerthought",
  "nsfw": false,
  "owner_id": "619284841187246090",
  "uses": 56,
  "description": "Get a random showerthought.",
  "restricted": false,
  "shared": true,
  "deleted": false,
  "safe": "unrated",
  "hidden": false,
  "guild_id": "619664960342982687",
  "sharer": "619284841187246090",
  "content": "{=(choice):{random:Saying \"um\" is the human equivalent to buffering.,Let's take a moment to appreciate that mother nature not only pre-sliced but also pre-wrapped oranges.,When you're a kid dick jokes are considered adult content but when you're an adult they're considered immature.,If the oldest person on earth is 116 years old then 117 years ago there was a completely different set of human beings on earth.,Fish who are caught and released are like the aquatic equivalent of people who claim to have been abducted by aliens.,Most people can eat the same breakfast weeks in a row without complaint. But the same dinner for weeks? Now that's just insanity.,Everyone actually has three voices the one in your head the one you hear when you talk and the one that everyone else hears instead.,If Mary had baby Jesus and Jesus is the lamb of god... Then Mary really did have a little lamb.Technically it's impossible to skip breakfast. The first time you eat during the day is when you \"break your fast.\".,I wonder how many times I've walked past or come into contact with a murderer.History classes are only going to get longer and harder as time goes on.A group of squid should be called a squad.,Cars should have two horns: one is a \"nice\" one the other is a \"mean\" oneMost of my clothes have been to countries that I have not.,I have no idea what I've forgotten.,We rescue homeless animals and shun homeless people.,Getting birthday money is the real-life equivalent of passing 'go' and collecting $200.,The reason \"cheaters never win\" is because the cheaters that did win didn't get caught.,\"Arms\" is another word for guns and \"guns\" is another word for arms.,Aliens invaded the Moon on July 20th 1969.,We say \"hair\" when referring to lots of it but we say \"hairs\" when referring to a few.,\"My entire life has led up to this moment\" is always true.,I bet attractive people think the world is a lot more polite than it really is.,If I'm lucky my internal organs will never see the light of day.,They should mark the last tissues in a box with red lines like they do with receipt paper.,Why do people say \"tuna fish\" when they don't say \"beef mammal\" or \"chicken bird\"?,I will be the last person to die in my lifetime.,\"Squawks\" said backward still sounds the same even though it's not a palindrome.,Asking someone \"where are you\" is a new thing. Before we had mobile phones the only way we could talk to people is if we knew where they were.,If I were a serial killer I would call myself \"the suspense\" so that the suspense would literally be killing people.,To fall asleep you have to pretend to be asleep.,Spacesuits are literally made to protect astronauts from nothing.,Nothing is on fire; fire is on things.,I wonder if I am closer to my death or my birth right now.,When you \"bite down\" on something you're actually \"biting up\" because you can't move your top jaw.,If people on a planet 65 million light-years away look at the earth they see dinosaurs.,If you did something like a boss you'd probably just pay someone else to do it.,You're too big to ride the dog by the time you're smart enough to think to ride the dog.,Mothers only get a day but sharks get a whole week (Mothers day and Shark week).,In the last 20 years I won over $7300 by not buying a lottery ticket every day.,The two worst prison sentences you can get are life and death.,If there's a \"heavens no\" and a \"hell yeah\" why isn't there a \"purgatory perhaps\"?,Once you have a Ph.D. every meeting you go to becomes a doctor's appointment.,Google earth is useful for finding out which of your neighbors has a pool.,The only reason celebrities always say people should follow their dreams is because they're part of the small percentage who were actually successful.,The sinking of the Titanic must have been a miracle to the lobsters in the kitchen.,When jogging we put on special clothes so people don't think we are running from or to something.,Horses must be the most farted upon creatures in the whole world.,Mars... Is populated entirely by robots!,There is one day every year where we unknowingly pass the anniversary of the day the dinosaurs were wiped out by an asteroid.,If two people on opposite sides of the world each drop a piece of bread the earth briefly becomes a sandwich.,If Homer Simpson were a democratic congressman from Springfield Ohio he'd be Homer Simpson (D-OH).,All our pets might have Stockholm syndrome.,Netflix should have a rating system that includes \"I hate this but I want to keep watching it.\".Computer labs should flicker their lights now and then to remind students to save their work.My right elbow has never been touched by my right hand.,Your stomach thinks all potato is mashed.,If I throw around large amounts of shredded bread on public property my proximity to ducks determines whether or not I'm littering.,If anyone were given the challenge to fall asleep in 10 minutes in exchange for a million dollars almost everyone would fail miserably.,\"Supervision\" sounds a lot cooler than it really is.,Minivans have sliding doors so children don't open them into other cars.,Trying to get rich by playing the lottery is like trying to commit suicide by flying on commercial airlines.,If Obama was the President of Kenya he would be their first white president.,\"slang\" is a colloquial word for \"colloquial word.\",Kevin spacey gets paid more to pretend to be a politician than real ones get paid to run the country.,Lobsters are mermaids to scorpions.,A crush is called a crush because he/she will most likely crush your feelings.,Humans have a 16-hour battery life.,Some rappers basically have us pay them to tell us what extravagant/lavish things they then do with our money.,June is like Friday July is like Saturday and August is like Sunday.,Wake up earlier on weekends. Now you get to sleep in for five days a week instead of two.It would make more sense if 3 had the value of 4 because the number 3 looks like half of the number 8.,A mullet will make you a redneck and also prevent you from getting one.,Childbirth is literally an emergency.,If we ever colonize another planet how will we determine age?,Teach a man to fish he'll pay you once sell a man a fish and he'll pay you for a lifetime.I wish I had a Mario kart-like ghost of myself punctually getting ready for work in the morning soI'd know if I was running late.,Acquired taste is the Stockholm syndrome of the flavor world.,Everything I cook literally turns out to be sh*t.,Keith Urban is a terrible name for a country music singer.,\"don't kid yourself\" would be a great slogan for an abortion clinic.,Can Chewbacca even say \"Chewbacca\"? Shouldn't his name be something like \"rawwwraaraar\"?\n}}\n{=(color):{random:F04152, 0688A2, 4DC4C8, FCC350, 102F41}}",
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  "last_fetched": "2026-10-20T20:37:38.883Z"
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