howsmycat

{
  "id": 574772,
  "created_at": "2021-02-01T15:00:26.000Z",
  "tag_name": "howsmycat",
  "nsfw": false,
  "owner_id": "465970731612635136",
  "uses": 4006,
  "description": null,
  "restricted": false,
  "shared": false,
  "deleted": false,
  "safe": "",
  "hidden": false,
  "guild_id": "312253975036559362",
  "sharer": "465970731612635136",
  "content": "{=(cat):{rand({target(id)}):ᓚᘏᗢ~ᗢᗝᓗ}}\n\n{=(comment): Add userIDs of people who have surrendered their cats to shelter}\n{=(shelter):437068605390323712 470337413923995675 458764165419499537 418297915224621057}\n\n{=(gender):{rand({target(id)}):M~F}}\n{=(he):{if({gender}==M):he|she}}\n{=(He):{if({gender}==M):He|She}}\n{=(his):{if({gender}==M):his|her}}\n{=(His):{if({gender}==M):His|Her}}\n{=(him):{if({gender}==M):him|her}}\n\n{=(gcn):{rand({target(id)}):Luna~Bella~Lucy~Kitty~Lily~Nala~Chloe~Cleo~Stella~Sophie~Daisy~Lola~Willow~Mia~Gracie~Callie~Olive~Molly~Cali~Kiki~Ellie~Princess~Penny~Pepper~Lilly~Zoey~Rosie~Coco~Phoebe~Piper~Pumpkin~Maggie~Zoe~Millie~Minnie~Lulu~Hazel~Ginger~Shadow~Baby~Penelope~Boo~Ruby~Mittens~Izzy~Belle~Sadie~Angel~Charlie~Athena~Sasha~Fiona~Oreo~Sassy~Missy~Nova~Jasmine~Cookie~Mimi~Winnie~Bailey~Misty~Emma~Poppy~Alice~Ivy~Midnight~Abby~Ella~Annie~Violet~Layla~Bean~Arya~Miss Kitty~Peanut~Pixie~Roxy~Frankie~Gigi~Zelda~Salem~Charlotte~Delilah~Holly~Mama~Harley~Cat~Pearl~Mila~Smokey~Stormy~Bonnie~Freya~Tiger~Patches~Olivia~Jade~Peaches~Honey}}\n{=(bcn):{rand({target(id)}):Oliver~Leo~Milo~Charlie~Simba~Max~Jack~Loki~Tiger~Jasper~Ollie~Oscar~George~Buddy~Toby~Smokey~Finn~Felix~Simon~Shadow~Louie~Salem~Binx~Dexter~Gus~Oreo~Henry~Winston~Tigger~Kitty~Gizmo~Apollo~Theo~Rocky~Sam~Sammy~Jax~Teddy~Sebastian~Bandit~Boots~Thor~Bear~Zeus~Chester~Prince~Pumpkin~Tucker~Cooper~Blue~Ziggy~Frankie~Frank~Romeo~Cosmo~Archie~Lucky~Benny~Joey~Kevin~Midnight~Merlin~Casper~Tom~Ash~Goose~Murphy~Bob~Boo~Moose~Jackson~Marley~Calvin~Garfield~Bruce~Ozzy~Maverick~Thomas~Tommy~Mac~Bubba~Fred~Sunny~Pepper~Peanut~Louis~Otis~Hunter~Buster~Walter~Mickey~Harley~Clyde~Mango~Bentley~Jinx~Hobbes~Bean~Bagheera}}\n{=(name):{if({gender}==M):{bcn}|{gcn}}}\n\n{=(attribute):{rand({target(id)}): goofy~ sweet-natured~ wicked~ delightful~ playful~ funny~ silly~ darling~ baby~ soft soft soft~ fluffy~n extra-fluffy~ proud~ handsome~ wildly adorable~ beautiful~ soft baby~ sweet soft baby~ loving~ sleepy~ floofy~ floofy ball of joy~ perfect~ curious~ loving~ playful~ cuddly~n adventurous~ silly~ funny~n intelligent~ smart~ friendly~n affectionate~ sleepy~ happy}}\n\n{=(breed):{rand({target(id)}):Maine Coon,Abyssinian,American Bobtail,domestic shorthair,Balinese-Javanese,Bengal,Birman,Bombay,British Shorthair,domestic longhair,Burmese,Cornish Rex,Devon Rex,Egyptian Mau,Havana Brown,Himalayan,Japanese Bobtail,Manx cat,Munchkin,Norwegian Forest Cat,Persian,Sphynx,Pixiebob,Ragamuffin,Ragdoll,Russian Blue,Savannah,Scottish Fold,Selkirk Rex,Siamese,Siberian,Tonkinese,Turkish Angora}}\n\n{=(caturl):https://i.imgur.com/{if({breed}==Maine Coon):{rand({target(id)}):Zgf8Co8.png~z4hSPKE.png~EeGxDNK.png~6G6FoCL.png~IOFHEoO.png~2gMf8Ag.jpg}|{if({breed}==Abyssinian):{rand({target(id)}):JqwWaD6.jpg~OlcAw5L.png~bHo4LMT.png~hqt9yNk.png~hlbW8SM.png~7iJ89Rw.png}|{if({breed}==American Bobtail):{rand({target(id)}):rY29roV.jpg~kZmfLEp.png~TKU9q9D.png~nJIYhtr.png~2sqzjtb.png~dUIF1XF.png~yrXpcFW.png~C2AzgVR.png~EhlKZYv.png}|{if({breed}==domestic shorthair):{rand({target(id)}):Jwg6Ojn.png~57ywKq8.png~hiqPgQ1.png~RBvpLlZ.png~tQOpqfx.png~3vQQZDt.png~myb3kdd.png~90FoxDj.png~1qUx6nz.png~9NGaMU4.png~wof9hNp.png~CCeCWJy.png~nDBKLSg.png~t8VZUaF.png}|{if({breed}==Balinese-Javanese):{rand({target(id)}):eJTineP.png~3tI17Zq.jpg~uCNicZF.png~IuUSWIE.png~taHyIOb.png~4kHKQNA.png~115ZCHt.png}|{if({breed}==Bengal):{rand({target(id)}):TQt166Z.jpg~KboMPji.jpg~0VecKQr.png~5IAmRSj.png~OMlLZtU.png~9KfHOrL.png~jnKCjQ3.png}|{if({breed}==Birman):{rand({target(id)}):SDOI6Ew.png~fM1y4y7.jpg~s9jJOBA.png~7FAENw8.png~o3xcpNr.png~BKz485R.png~vOwMqz7.png}|{if({breed}==Bombay):{rand({target(id)}):0EIYNP1.png~8OsS4oi.png~Q3Kzoa9.png~cRg5FJO.png~38YXsfe.png~bvMR47D.png}|{if({breed}==British Shorthair):{rand({target(id)}):PybFQBv.png~vC1KuwI.png~B0sbdCO.png~BTakvRD.png~XL5mov9.png~BegM4A6.png}|{if({breed}==domestic longhair):{rand({target(id)}):MjGvW1S.png~CHQm7E8.png~x3Lalhb.png~DKfnxj8.png~ARquerP.png}|{if({breed}==Burmese):{rand({target(id)}):MfEqZ1M.png~HCPTWOE.png~Psw2uLj.png~nUx7iSy.png~rnllRsG.png~95i2nWt.png}|{if({breed}==Cornish Rex):{rand({target(id)}):fqhMSQx.png~8L76hCr.png~mvxZV4U.png~jvRVWB7.png~WkLYZF5.png}|{if({breed}==Devon Rex):{rand({target(id)}):NSl1CRj.png~PDFzTri.png~BR5czQM.png~DAuzEdp.png~7oYnXIA.png}|{if({breed}==Egyptian Mau):{rand({target(id)}):YduE0wy.png~NUApqyL.png~Z15HHNw.jpg~by8fCwz.png~u1RJMJO.png}|{if({breed}==Havana Brown):{rand({target(id)}):wrqgjXa.png~rZxmIoV.png~8IDdqQv.png~qEtHGuJ.png~q7iIibm.png~cPa5swE.png}|{if({breed}==Himalayan):{rand({target(id)}):wrqgjXa.png~Fj6mr42.png~aqc0GwK.png~El0Jy4t.png~WC1IZed.png~NWwuMFu.png}|{if({breed}==Japanese Bobtail):{rand({target(id)}):wrqgjXa.png~WeJuJfN.png~Kdh0I44.png~7ZTZSV7.png~LZath8Z.png}|{if({breed}==Manx cat):{rand({target(id)}):Mj64KQh.png~5zIHYdB.png~3dwaZsR.png~y7CMgXO.jpg~JFsGqAN.png}|{if({breed}==Munchkin):{rand({target(id)}):Rn8cCqV.png~WbYGDS1.png~4BSCUfA.png~RSO6JcH.png~IRVyP9a.png~dAIHEJp.png}|{if({breed}==Norwegian Forest Cat):{rand({target(id)}):JR066TW.png~cIRgwpe.png~TQqwpLj.png~3t9MuzG.png~oHmX6qh.png}|{if({breed}==Persian):{rand({target(id)}):aFukkiG.png~ndrhP3f.png~obKLR5S.png~KjqNAg4.png~RxUtfM7.png}|{if({breed}==Sphynx):{rand({target(id)}):JMBGukM.png~kQuuQ98.png~nO9w1Ct.png~1JzxxBv.png~laOePym.png}|{if({breed}==Pixiebob):{rand({target(id)}):1KpZu0e.jpg~JWjbS8f.jpg~GO4N5kE.jpg~QD9p5Le.jpg~35EGt2z.jpg}|{if({breed}==Ragamuffin):{rand({target(id)}):EAZKDC1.jpg~ekL7OfU.jpg~fn1tl2O.jpg~UzJgaqV.jpg~EESJyQd.jpg}|{if({breed}==Ragdoll):{rand({target(id)}):l4JxmZV.jpg~bPY6MIA.jpg~2RDR7ln.jpg~VUZ9i0b.jpg}|{if({breed}==Russian Blue):{rand({target(id)}):vl8i223.jpg~90RUeEe.jpg~qJIJ9oD.jpg~WJqywjA.jpg~e1gdUlP.jpg}|{if({breed}==Savannah):{rand({target(id)}):t8FrHId.jpg~dWqTLdy.jpg~va6yDEf.jpg~lBO6Ab5.jpg}|{if({breed}==Scottish Fold):{rand({target(id)}):tDRov9B.jpg~AUJHM4a.jpg~r8umYlX.jpg}|{if({breed}==Selkirk Rex):{rand({target(id)}):K8VTKnv.jpg~GAtMKir.jpg~X9ugyKn.jpg~TFcKUVf.jpg~sqj41y5.jpg}|{if({breed}==Siamese):{rand({target(id)}):lhDxJcX.jpg~A7iF0zW.jpg~7pJKoP4.jpg~lno4jCh.jpg}|{if({breed}==Siberian):{rand({target(id)}):OCzTFTW.jpg~kuXjNg3.jpg~hd4MtHP.jpg~IhoFUMG.jpg~LUCz6Q2.jpg}|{if({breed}==Tonkinese):{rand({target(id)}):TYAVxJP.jpg~cBEJfwP.jpg~yIVyk9q.jpg~4Eozewn.jpg~ME740tw.jpg}|{rand({target(id)}):DdH6RZ2.png~eSi57aG.png~7qZGYvA.png~0T0l5Xy.png~9zjUQkF.png}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}\n\n{=(backstory):{rand({target(id)}):climbed into your lap and purred and purred and purred until you couldn't conceive of life without {him}~came in off the street on a dark night and twined around your ankles for comfort.~thought you were so sweet and friendly you must be the perfect human for {him}~sensed that you needed the love of a smol catto~chose you, and now you belong to {him}~was crying under an internet troll bridge all alone until you found and rescued {him}~chose you out of a crowd and followed you home~appeared in your home one morning.  You were pretty sure you didn't have a cat, but apparently {name} had other ideas.}}\n\n\n{=(currently):{rand({target(id)}{strf:%j}):{name} woke you up by puking up a hairball.  It was a horrible sound and it made you worry about {him}, but once {he} was done, {he} came over and apologised so nicely with lots and lots of purring and ankle-winding, so you had to forgive {him}. Poor {name}.  {He} is a lucky cat to have you.~\n{name} has been sleeping in a patch of sunlight.  Every time you walked past {him}, {he} would open one eye to check on you, and sometimes roll over to demand belly rubs.~\n{name} found a bug on the floor and was OBSESSED with it for ages.  That bug has been well and truly murdered.  {name} is looking very pleased with {him}self right now.~\n{name} is in a very sweet mood, and slept snuggled up against your side.~\n{name} is watching the TV like it has the secret to life in it.  (Or maybe {he}'s watching that little piece of dust behind it that's moving in the air currents.  Either way, {he} looks like {he}'s about to pounce.~\n{name} is sleeping at your feet, looking like there's nowhere else in the world {he}'d rather be.  {He} finds so much peace and security in your presence.~\n{name} is feeling super playful - watch out for your toes!~\n{name} whined for extra dinner, as if {he} had never been fed before in {his} whole entire life.  (You gave in.  {He} was so sweet, how could you not?)~\n{name} absolutely lost {his} shit over a catnip toy.  Bouncing around and bunny-kicking and being completely adorable.  Then once {he} was done {he} came and curled up by your side to purr and to sleep the sleep of the well cared for kitty.~\n{name} hid inside a paper bag today, and then fell asleep in there.  You found {him} by following the little dream-snores.  {name}-snores are cute as heck!~\n{name} was up all night making noise, which was exhausting for you, but {he}'s sleeping so sweetly now you have to forgive {him} for it.  {He}'s such a soft soft catto.~\n{name} is sunning {him}self right in the middle of your bed.  Well ... it's {his} bed now.~\n{name} tried to eat your indoor plants, didn't like them, and now {he}'s sulking about it.~\n{name} is asleep, curled up right in the middle of your bed, being very round.~\n{name} seemed a little sad and anxious early in the morning, but {he} cheered up when you patted {him} and was entirely comforted just from being at your side.  {He}'s fine now, content and purring, because {he} loves you so much.~\n{name} was extra hungry this morning and ate ALL {his} breakfast, and now {he} is sniffing hopefully at your food too.~\n{name} is probably about due for a vet checkup, but don't tell {him} that ... you know {he} hates the vet.~\n{name} endearingly ambushed your legs this morning while you were walking to the kitchen to make some coffee. {His} quickness was impressive.~\n{name} brought you an unusually disgusting tribute this morning. You had to mop and bleach the floor ... but you still appreciated the gesture.  Probably.  Good work, {name}.~\nThis morning {name} fell asleep right beside your wireless charging pad, with one paw stretched out to rest on it.  {He} almost seemed ... to glow?  About an hour later {he} woke up extremely happy, bouncy and refreshed, and now {he}'s full of energy!~\nYou bought {name} a new toy because you love {him}, and {he} played with it happily all day.  Now {he} is sleeping beside you and purring, after a busy day of playing.  You're the best cat-owner {name} has ever had.~\nLast night you woke up feeling like a heavy weight was on your chest.  Because there was.  It was {name}, and when you woke up {he} started to purr happily.  {name} loves you more than anything else in the world.~\n{name} saw another cat this morning out the window and got SO EXCITED.  {He} miaowed super loud for your attention, and then once you went to look, led you straight to the window, tail quivering with anticipation.  Except the other cat had gone by then so {he} just looked confused, and then upset.  You gave {him} lots of pats and then it was all better.~\n{name} is sleeping on your favourite chair.  So round!  How do cats even get that round?~\n{name} thought there was a treat inside a box, so {he} squirmed right in there.  There was no treat. But {he} found out that {he} fits, so now: {he} sits.~\nIt's cold. {name} is snuggled happily against your side, purring. There are benefits to cold days.~\n{name} wants to play!  Have you been giving {him} enough attention?  Grab the laser.~\n{name} is sleeping in the sunniest part of the house, stretched out to catch every warm sunbeam.  There's something so peaceful about a sleeping cat.~\nYou picked {name} up this morning to kiss {his} little forehead, and {he} purred and tried to knead your shoulder happily.~\n{name} is trying to eat a plastic bag.  *Again*.  Why are cats like this??~\n{name} has kicked SO MUCH LITTER over the floor. So.  Much.  Litter.  Oh my god, {name}.~\n{name} came a little too close to a candle and the very tips of {his} whiskers are all curled up now! (Don't worry - {he} isn't hurt at all. You checked very closely!)~\n{name} has been watching birds out the window all day.  You're pretty sure the birds are trolling {him}.  Can't trust birds.~\n{name} started purring as soon as you came through the door and hasn't stopped. You're even getting bonus ankle-twining.  The love of a server-cat is very precious.~\n{name} is sitting at your feet, gazing up at you like you're {his} favourite thing in the entire world.  Probably because you are.}}\n\n\n{=(catstory):*{target(mention)}'s assigned server-cat is {name}, a {attribute} {breed}!*\n\n**{name} update for {strf:%A, %-d %B %Y}:**\n{currently}}\n\n{=(nocat):I can't see **{target}**'s cat right now. \n\nEither they don't have one yet -  ask a mod to give them one - or they do, but it's just wandered away from their nick for a moment to do some important cat business.\n\nWhen the cat comes back to their username I can give you an update!}\n\n{=(sheltermsg):**{target}** doesn't have a cat.  They surrendered their cat to the Mark Watney Shelter for Lost Kittemses.  {name} is very happy there.}\n\n{=(genmsg):The cats have decided that<#371404240486400003> is too cold! You can visit them in <#817067463573110817>.\n\n*{name} is waiting for you!*}\n{=(genout):371404240486400003 312253975036559362 317508072161411073}\n\n{=(update):{if({in({target(id)}):{shelter}}==true):{sheltermsg}|{if({in(ᓚᘏᗢ):{target}}==true):{catstory}|{if({in(ᗢᗝᓗ):{target}}==true):{catstory}|{nocat}}}}}\n{=():}\n{=(imgurl):{if({in(ᓚᘏᗢ):{target}}==true):{caturl}|{if({in(ᗢᗝᓗ):{target}}==true):{caturl}|}}}\n\n{reactu:✅}\n{{any({in(547951672370921482):{user(roleids)}}==true|{in(319962984786952192):{user(roleids)}}==true|{in(318066914905817089):{user(roleids)}}==true):|redirect:817067463573110817}}\n\n{if({in(817067463573110817):{channel(id)}}==true):**{user(mention)}**:|{any({in(547951672370921482):{user(roleids)}}==true|{in(319962984786952192):{user(roleids)}}==true|{in(318066914905817089):{user(roleids)}}==true):|**{user(mention)}**:}}",
  "embed": "{\"color\": 8311585, \"thumbnail\": {\"url\": \"{imgurl}\"}, \"description\": \"{update}\"}",
  "last_fetched": "2026-10-21T00:04:00.093Z"
}