quip

{
  "id": 560228,
  "created_at": "2021-01-26T18:23:34.000Z",
  "tag_name": "quip",
  "nsfw": false,
  "owner_id": "193120735743574016",
  "uses": 99,
  "description": null,
  "restricted": false,
  "shared": false,
  "deleted": false,
  "safe": "",
  "hidden": false,
  "guild_id": "760222639524151319",
  "sharer": "193120735743574016",
  "content": "{var(seedmoji1):{range:0-224}}{var(seedmoji2):{range:0-224}}{var(seedmoji3):{range:0-224}}{var(seedmoji4):{range:0-224}}{var(emojilist):💩,👻,💀,☠️,👽,👾,🤖,🎃,💅,🦵,🦶,👂,👃,🧠,🦷,🦴,👀,👁,👅,👄,💋,🩸,👶,👱,🗣,🧳,🌂,☂️,🧵,🧶,👓,🕶,🥽,🥼,🦺,👔,👕,👖,🧣,🧤,🧥,🧦,👗,👘,🥻,🩱,🩲,👙,🎒,👟,👑,👒,🎩,🎓,🧢,⛑,💄,💍,💼,🐶,🐱,🐭,🐹,🐰,🦊,🐻,🐼,🐨,🐯,🦁,🐮,🐷,🐸,🐵,🐒,🐔,🐧,🐦,🐤,🐣,🐥,🦆,🦅,🦉,🦇,🐺,🐗,🐴,🦄,🐝,🐛,🦋,🐌,🐞,🐜,🦟,🦗,🕷,🕸,🦂,🐢,🐍,🦎,🦖,🦕,🐙,🦑,🦐,🦞,🦀,🐡,🐠,🐟,🐬,🐳,🐋,🦈,🐊,🐅,🐁,🦔,🐾,🐉,🌵,🌲,🌴,🌿,☘️,🍀,🎍,🎋,🍃,🍂,🍁,🍄,🐚,🌾,💐,🌷,🌹,🌞,🌝,🌑,🌙,🌏,🪐,⭐️,⚡️,☄️,💥,🔥,🌪,🌈,❄️,⛄️,💨,💧,💦,🌊,🌫,🍏,🍐,🍊,🍋,🍌,🍉,🍇,🍓,🍈,🍒,🍑,🥭,🍍,🥥,🥝,🍅,🍆,🥑,🥦,🍙,🍚,🍘,🍥,🥠,🥮,🍢,🍡,🍧,🍨,🍦,🥧,🧁,🍰,🎂,🍮,🍭,🍬,🍫,🍿,🍩,🍪,🌰,🥜,🍯,🥛,🍼,☕️,🍵,🧃,🥤,🍶,🍺,🍻,🥂,🍷,🥃,🍸,🍹,🧉,🍾,🧊,🥄,🍴,🍽,🥣}{var(seednum):{range:0-7}}{var(numlist):one,two,six,nine,ten,fourty two,a thousand,a hundred,six thousand nine hundred}{var(compnum):{range:0-15}}{var(complist):stained glass,spiders,plasma,spikes,spies,lead,carrots,double teeth,trees,lions,broccoli,denim,radioactive 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{list({let{range:0-10}}):{letlist}}{list({let{range:0-10}}):{letlist}}{list({let{range:0-10}}):{letlist}}{list({let{range:0-10}}):{letlist}}{list({let{range:0-10}}):{letlist}}{list({let{range:0-10}}):{letlist}}}{var(randmoji):[{list({seedmoji1}):{emojilist}}](https://emojipedia.org/search/?q={list({seedmoji1}):{emojilist}})}\n{var(quip):{rand:{rand:huff,snort} {rand:my,your,our} {rand:j,sp,t}{rand:orts,okes},{rand:make,earn,lose,invest,spend} {list({seednum}):{numlist}} {rand:pennies,rupies,dollars,silver nickels,tuppence} per {rand:month,day,week,year,lunar cycle,geologic period,solar halfweek} by being {rand:your own boss,a horse,an unscrupulous bastard,six raccoons in a trench coat},{rand:learn,discover,research} how to {rand:throw,toss,swallow} {rand:axes,darts,small mammals,{?:un}ripe fruit,the book,kunai,beanbags},enjoy the {rand:jorts,shorts,sweater ,bell,portentous ,beach,carnival,bad}weather,the real dirtbag is{?:n't} {rand:you,me,big the cat,slenderman},you have {rand:done,accomplished} the {rand:best,worst,weirdest,least-considered,most foolish} thing you will ever do by {rand:creating,gazing upon,reading about} {rand:me,yourself},do{?:n't do} a {rand:kick flip,barrel roll,new crime,data crime},color {rand:space,the sky,your house,your hair,my pfp} a {rand:soft,bright,horrible,wonderful,intense} {rand:blue,green,red,black,yellow,chartruse},build the best {rand:sandcastle,table,cabin,bionicle,mazda miata,utopia} you've ever {rand:seen,imagined},{rand:wear,don,clothe yourself in} something {rand:odd,weird,anachronistic,unfortunate,tragic,horrid} to the {rand:beach,park,bookstore,movies,doctor's office},make a {rand:cowboy hat,top hat,stylish vest,meat wagon,thriving empire} for me,DO{?:N'T} {rand:EAT,SMELL,LICK,TOUCH} THAT,smells like {rand:snow,rain,hail,winter,discourse,teen spirit}'s'a'comin,get out of my {rand:house,car,discord server,minecraft server,personal hell,jack flaps' flap jacks and bar},i'm here from the {rand:future,past,present} to tell you to {rand:go to hell,rock on,look out},get on the next {rand:bus,train,gorilla,megasnake,hovercraft} you see and never {rand:look,come} back,look out for that {rand:car,bus,many-headed snake,memetic weapon},go back to {rand:bed,hell,your horse farm nerd,back to back to back},eat a{rand: calculator,n abacus, laptop, personal computer, twelve kilogram pile of sand} i heard it makes you better at {rand:math,long division,multiplication,statistics,indigestion},you're {?:not }hired,i need you to {rand:kill,find,discredit} {rand:someone,a camel,2|five copies of Zork (1980) on floppy} for me and i pay in {randmoji},{?:don't }look under the {rand:couch,fridge,oven,cake stand,car,bed,moon,sun,planet,turtle},i {?:don't }have a{rand: soul, mazda miata, time travel mystery,n arch-nemesis},i have {range:8-25} senses {rand::),:(,;)},i've {rand:lived,accomplished,felt,done,created} more since you {rand:typed that command,hit enter,woke up today,last blinked,started reading this sentence} than you will {random:in a lifetime,in five lifetimes,in all of your lifetimes},allow me to {rand:regale,bombard,enlighten,shred} you with my {rand:emotional baggage,life story,dream journal,opinions about science},just because {rand:i'm,you're} random does{?:n't} mean i'm {?:not }{rand:worthless,important,significant,the main character},i wrote a really good {rand:song,book,dnd supplement,autobiography} but I'm too nervous to show it to you,{rand:slap chop,a shake weight,a snuggie,oxy clean,a george foreman grill,a shamwow} is a {rand:great,perfect,terrible} {rand:gift,prank} for {rand:any occasion,a wedding,a funeral},hor{rand:p,c,l,r,x,z}se has been spelled that way the whole time and you just never noticed,now is{?: not} the time,It's {rand:just,not} like you to {rand:summon,call upon,interrupt,distract,impinge} me while i'm {rand:watching,winning,losing,sabotaging,cheating at,refereeing,adjuticating} the {rand:superblowl,wlorld sleries,stlanley clup,pgla tlour},keep your voice down this is a {rand:library,museum,saw trap where if you're too loud you get {rand:squooshed,banned,abraded,scolder},discord server},we {?:absolutely }do{?:n't} have time for games,crime is {rand:afoot,awesome,a moral prerogative},i {rand:would like,demand,beg,will die for my need} to be taken to {rand:slix flags,dlisney world,a black hole,the heliosphere},{rand:i'm,you're} a horrible {rand:2|little,big} gremlin,butts {?:butts} {?:butts} {?:{?:butts}} {?:{?:butts}} {?:{?:butts}} {?:{?:{?:butts}}} {?:{?:butts}} {?:{?:butts}} {?:{?:{?:butts}}} {?:{?:{?:butts}}} {?:{?:{?:butts}}},this discord server ain't big enough for the {rand:trillions of me,both of us,several of youse},wanna {rand:rip off,overthrow,elaborately heist} a {rand:merchant,castle,country,bank,target,state university} with me,i've made all of your {rand:hair,marbles,debit cards} {rand:fall out,turn {randcolor},get soggy},i'm full of {list({compnum}):{complist}},{rand:ldks,djfkshg,dfjhg,wfdkjg,fkdg}{rand:ldks,djfkshg,dfjhg,wfdkjg,fkdg}{rand:ldks,djfkshg,dfjhg,wfdkjg,fkdg},i would{?:n't} rather{?: not} be {rand:sleeping,in bed,asleep,fighting the mglorkaxians on tresmang six,painting,writing,coding,joyriding,committing petty acts of criminality,bolstering my street cred,lighting matches and watching them burn,watching a pot of {rand:water,paint,tar,nickelodeon slime} boil},my other {rand:car,discord server,bumper sticker,carl command} is a {rand:second car,discord server,horrible little gremlin,mario kart,horse-drawn chariot},{?:un}{rand:ban,mute} me {rand:nerd,loser,simp,buttface,you hubris-laden balloon},i love to {rand:sleep,lay,wallow} in {rand:golden,active,dead,thriving,amber} wheat {rand:fields,silos,bread},i'm{?:not} the {rand:undertaker,rock,new president,claw,big show,miz,thing},i'd absolutely{?: fail to} {rand:shred,destroy,delete,end,obliterate,embarrass} you on the {rand:blasketball,blaseball,glolf,clurling,plolo,bleyblade,sklateboard} {rand:clourse,dliamond,clourt,rlink,plool,alrena,plark},i make a{rand: killer,n awesome, terrible,n inedible,n unparalleled, peerless, memorable,n unforgettable,n unservable} {rand:lobster,potato,uranium,silver,cobblefish,chocolate,extra-dimensional,kitchen sink,herb} {rand:bisque,pie,quiche,toast,dip,spread,french toast,waffle,pancake,soup,broth,eggs benedict,salad,charcuterie},if you stare at my {rand:pic,name,description,visage,record} for too long we'll {rand:swap places,swap brains,fall in love},I once spent {rand:an entire year,a day,a week,a month,a lifetime} carrying a {rand:fist-sized rock,pair of nunchucks,hammer,pair of brass knuckles,club,stick,tree} around to {rand:smash,break,pulverize,obliterate} every {rand:piece,bit,sign} of {rand:ceramic,glass,hard candy,tootsie pop} i came across,i have {list({compnum}):{complist}} for {rand:teeth,fingers,toes,hair,a soul},I'm {rand:chasing,seeking,dreaming of} my goal of becoming a {rand:food truck,fine dining restaurant,sleazy diner},do{?:n't}{?: you} forget{?: about} me,i've been {rand:stand,sitt,ly,post}ing perfectly still for the last {rand:nineteen,three,six thousand nine hundred,eighty-two} minutes,{rand:cut a woodblock,carve a statue,weave a tapestry,etch a tintype} of me like one of your {rand:scottish,martian,lunar,solar,plutonian} {rand:enbies,friends,enemies,girls,boys},i can {rand:sell,offer,trade} you the {rand:past,future} for the {rand:low low,high,reasonable,standard} price of {list({seednum}):{numlist}} {randmoji},a{rand: list, catalog, document,n accounting} of {rand:my,your} {rand:sins,wrongdoings,crimes,warrants,blessings} would {rand:drown,crush,obliterate,sadden,hearten} {rand:you,me,us both,god,carl},if you look at your {rand:doorstep,mailbox,dining room table,basement} you'll find a {rand:cowboy hat,top hat,stylish vest,meat wagon,thriving empire} that i made for you{?:r dad},you've heard of me{?: haven't you?},sorry for carving a{rand: poem, haiku, screed, novella,n arcane sigil} detailing all of your {rand:wrongs,sins,misdeeds,charitable work} into your {rand:garage,front,back,side,car,van,office} door i was {rand:hangry,grumpy,bitter},riddle me piss: {rand:why,what,how,who,where,riley} {rand:is{?:n't},can{?:not},has five} {rand:three,europe,first,dogs,fish} {rand:does have,ashley,ashly,six fish,nine kinds,is like} {rand:through your mouth,a frying pan,or the egg,inside a room}{?: rings eternal}? A: ||{rand:it has,the,turn the,eight becase} {rand:greece at,chicken,fan on,ashley and ashly} {rand:the bottom,egg,are sisters,easier than it sounds}||,play my {rand:ribs,bones,skull,spine} like a{rand: xylophone, drum set,n accordion},my {?:ex-}{rand:girlfriend,boyfriend,partner,lover} is {rand:the milky way galaxy,yurts trunbo,a star blaseball player,six raccoons in a trenchcoat,your bff},{rand:i,you} {rand:live,sleep,work,travel} in a {rand:cave,house,spider,tree,castle} made of {list({compnum}):{complist}},{rand:i,you} invented {rand:fjords - fords,pjorts - pajamas,jeggings - leggings,jants - pants,jokers - chokers} made of jorts,{rand:i'm,you're,we're all} made of {rand:hope,disappointment,anger,delight,meat,fear,imagination} {rand:but,and} it's{?: not} {rand:someone else's,better than it sounds,worse than it sounds},i {rand:own,found,stole,forged} a{rand:n undiscovered,n unknown, fake, genuine,n original} {rand:picasso,rembrandt,pollock,van gogh,monet,dalí,degas,matisse,caravaggio} that i'm going to {rand:burn,eat,2|put into a printer and print {rand:sonic's,wario's,my,your,knuckles'} {rand:face,butt,last will and testamant} onto} before i {rand:die,leave for paris,change my mind,get arrested},i {rand:used to be,was once} a {rand:software,game,web} {rand:developer,designer} but {?:then }i upgraded to being {rand:in hell,a demon,asleep,a cryptid,a miserable pile of secrets},{rand:pot,tom}{rand:AYto,AHto} {rand:pot,tom}{rand:AYto,AHto},i once {rand:won,lost,rage quit,cheated at} a game of {rand:chess,checkers,quake,mario kart} against a {rand:whale,spider,discord troll,blaseball keeper},i have {rand:confiscated,shifted,reversed} your {rand:alphabet,english language,concept of speech,discord server,emotional baggage},your {rand:handwriting,word choice,carl command} {rand:sucks,is so pretty,is a joke,rules,kicks ass} ngl,i can't believe you've {rand:forced,caused,compelled} me to exist in this {rand:font,trash-ass discord server,physical plane,zone of implacable mortality,castle of jabronis},i'm {list({seednum}):{numlist}} {rand:bees,wasps,hornets,ungulates,amoeba,protozoa,banned discord users},i like to {rand:listen to,watch} the {rand:radio,chorus of the damned,seattle garages,skeattle skarages},i{?: don't} recommend {rand:deleting,looking at,thinking about} me,have {rand:you,i} ever {rand:seen,smelled,heard} so {rand:many,few} {rand:octopi,camels,cryptids,zoologists,disc horses}?,you {rand:should,need to,gotta} {rand:unionize,organize,revolt,have a coup},i'm all that's left of {rand:me,you,god},you gotta see how {rand:long,short,{randcolor}} my {rand:tongue,hair,leg,fanfic} is holy {rand:hell,crap,cannoli},look {rand:up how to {rand:cook {rand:{haggis,shepherds pie,accountants pie},juggle,find happiness,eat uni}},out for that {rand:accountant,spy,linebacker,rogue umpire},over these {rand:tax,security,heist plan} documents},i’ll make {rand:you,me} wish you’d{?:'nt}'ve {rand:left,found,ended} me in {rand:hell,hades,valhalla,the underworld,heaven,kansas},i’ve got a {rand:cool,tight,dope,sick}{?:-ass} {rand:cyber,extra} {rand:eye,leg,body,head,hand,butt},i have an {list({seednum}):{numlist}} {rand:foot,inch,meter,mile} {rand:vertical,horizontal,lateral,inverted,4-dimensional} leap,if you {rand:push me,knock me over,kick me as much as you want,shoulder tackle me,slap me with a hedgehog} i will{rand:n't, not} fall {rand:down,over},my {rand:center of gravity,emotional core,imagination,greatest asset} is {?:in} my {rand:eyeballs,heels,jorts,lead bones,brain,nervous system},my {rand:jorts,glasses,socks,earrings} are made of {list({compnum}):{complist}},i have a stuffed {rand:bear,dragon,rabbit,demon,hypercube} named {rand:paul,biff,hank,snookums,nolan,pantsfire},i would like to hold hands,bruh.,i’m way more than half {rand:rust,denim,spite,vinegar} by {rand:volume,weight},it's so {?:...}{rand:nice,good,encouraging,surprising,delightful}{?:...} to see you again my {rand:old,good,constant} {rand:friend,rival,frenemy,partner in crime},like a {rand:pit,trench,moat,swimming pool} full of {rand:spikes,crocodiles,sharks,fire,acid} I {?:can't} recommend {?:not} falling for me,i'm a {rand:traveling merchant,reality show pawn shop magnate,broke hipster,con artist{?:é},junk collector}. {rand:sample,browse,barter for} my {rand:wares,goods,products,inventory}? {list({seedmoji1}):{emojilist}} {list({seedmoji2}):{emojilist}} {list({seedmoji3}):{emojilist}} {list({seedmoji4}):{emojilist}},i am this {rand:galaxy,town,server,planet,square meter}'s foremost craftsperson of {list({seedmoji1}):{emojilist}},i'm {rand:lawful,neutral,chaotic,true} {rand:good,neutral,evil} and I have {range:1-1000} hp and I {rand:wield ,carry,possess} a {list({seedmoji1}):{emojilist}} and i am {rand:your friend,a {rand:common,special,boss} enemy,the main villain} and the only way to {rand:defeat,romance,befriend} me is to {rand:try even a little bit,collect the shards of my soul spread across discord,push me down thirty seven flights of stairs (individually),offer me {rand:strawberry,vanilla,nutella,mango} creme brulee},i'll predict {rand:your,my,our,the} future for {rand:free,a price,a thousand dollars,fifteen cents and a stick of gum} as long as you don't mind me {rand:lying,being wrong,copyrighting it},i'm wanted in so many states i'm not allowed to be {rand:solid,liquid,gas,in ohio,plasma,bose-einstein condensate} any more,i look like a {rand:dangerous,slavering,horrible,vicious} monster but i am in fact a normal treasure chest,wanna see a magic trick \n\n*you see a {randmoji}*\n*there is a{rand: mighty, great,n echoing, deafening, blinding, resounding}* ✨\"**{rand:KAPOW,SHAZAM,KERPLONK,AH-CHOO}!**\"✨ \n*the {randmoji} has {rand:become,turned into,morphed into} {list({seedmoji2}):{emojilist}}!!*\n\n*you hear a {rand:distant,quiet}* \"{rand:oops,hell yes,uhhhh,i'm so good,huzzah!,finally,better than last time,look at me now dad,phew,still got it}\",do{?:n't} talk to me {rand:unless,if} your name is {randname},{rand:I,YOU} HAVE{?:N'T} {rand:HEARD,SEEN} THE {rand:LAST,FIRST} OF {rand:ME,YOU}!,***sneak attack!***\nyou are {rand:struck,whapped,jabbed,thwacked,bonked} with a {randmoji}!\n*you hear dice roll on a {rand:table,dungeon floor,mat,rock}*\nyou take ```{rand:fix\n{range:1-10},diff\n+ no,diff\n- fatal} damage```,{?:oh }hey {rand:what's up,nerds,grumpypants} {rand:I,you} live here now,my favorite {rand:book,song,movie,broadway musical,concept,character,horse,fandom,sport,olympic event,speedrun,alternate universe} is Sonic the Hedgehog,my {?:least }favorite color is {randcolor},if you think you {rand:made me,typed that message,can tell me what to do,are the boss of me,can see me,have control of this situation} you're {rand:sorely mistaken,totally right,dead wrong,dead on},my {?:least }favorite XKCD is{?:n't} [this one](https://xkcd.com/{range:1-2378}/),are those new shoes? {rand:🥿,👞,🩰,👟,👠,🥾,👡,👢},wow my name is {rand:absolutely,completely,utterly} {rand:incredible,trash,phenomenal,garbage,delightful,hellish},have you ever wondered what was in that {rand:ominous,threatening,cheerful,mysterious,horrible} {rand:shed,box,castle,staircase,hovering door,portal,inky black orb,chaotic maelstrom} at the {rand:edge,center,middle,periphery} of your {rand:yard,basement,campus,block,property}?,only {rand:smoky the {rand:bear,skunk,hamster,sentient fireball,cement block,capybara,hor{rand:p,c,x,r}se},you,i} can prevent forest fires,if you think you saw me {rand:drunk,starting trouble,doing crime,juggling,miming,impersonating you,sprinting,doing magic} at the {rand:supermarket,party,soiuree,masquerade,fete,funeral,wedding,renaissance fair} yesterday, {rand:no you didn't,you sure did},{rand:shakespeare,archimedes,babbage,alexander graham bell,alfred nobel,tesla,edison,samuel morse,albert einstein,johannes gutenberg} is best known for {rand:vampire,clown,werewolf,actor,author,banker,scientist} {rand:hunting,smooching},i call {rand:50|heads,50|tails,edge}\n\n*a coin is flipped. it lands on {rand:50|heads,50|tails,edge}.*,insert {rand:good,bad,filler} quip here,anything {?:not }worth doing is{?:not }worth doing {rand:well,poorly,carefully,recklessly,without,badly,heedlessly,twice,thrice,with no handlebars},{rand:the world,mars,the moon,the earth,the sun,pluto,jupiter,venus,saturn,mercury,uranus,venus} is {rand:spherical,rhomboid,flat,tridecagonal,cylindrical,hexagonal,dodecagonal,prismatic},i'm going to make a great word now: {rand:a,b,c,d,e,f,g,h,i,j,k,l,m,n,o,p,q,r,s,t,u,v,w,x,y,z}{rand:a,b,c,d,e,f,g,h,i,j,k,l,m,n,o,p,q,r,s,t,u,v,w,x,y,z}{?:{rand:a,b,c,d,e,f,g,h,i,j,k,l,m,n,o,p,q,r,s,t,u,v,w,x,y,z}}{?:{rand:a,b,c,d,e,f,g,h,i,j,k,l,m,n,o,p,q,r,s,t,u,v,w,x,y,z}}{?:{rand:a,b,c,d,e,f,g,h,i,j,k,l,m,n,o,p,q,r,s,t,u,v,w,x,y,z}},i get a discount at the {rand:movie theater,hardware store,hair salon,water park,tractor supply store,auto shop,gamestop,best buy,bath and blody works,jewelry store,best hotels} for reasons that i think my profile picture make obvious,i look {rand:4|exactly,nothing} like my {rand:dog,cat,hamster,goldfish,parakeet,horse},this quip's way too lo-}}",
  "embed": "{\"color\": 5198940, \"description\": \"{quip}\"}",
  "last_fetched": "2026-10-20T23:57:43.458Z"
}