masterprofi

{
  "id": 448328,
  "created_at": "2020-11-24T20:58:53.000Z",
  "tag_name": "masterprofi",
  "nsfw": false,
  "owner_id": "448497787315683340",
  "uses": 32,
  "description": "replace masterprofi with ur name",
  "restricted": false,
  "shared": false,
  "deleted": false,
  "safe": "unrated",
  "hidden": false,
  "guild_id": "448499603835191309",
  "sharer": "448497787315683340",
  "content": "{=(u):MasterProfi}\n\n{random:\nWhen Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone he already had 3 missed calls from {u}.~\n{u} once threw a grenade that killed 50 people. Then it exploded.~\n{u}'s tears can cure cancer. Unfortunately {u} never cries.~\n{u} doesn't breathe, he holds air hostage.~\n{u} counted to infinity... twice.~\n{u} doesn't cut his lawn. He dares it to grow.~\nJesus could walk on water, but {u} could swim on land.~\n{u} once heard nothing could kill him... so he tracked down nothing and killed it.~\n{u} died a long time ago. Death hasn't had the guts to tell him.~\nOnce a cobra bit {u}. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.~\n{u} can never get a heart attack. Because his heart would never dare to attack him.~\n{u} could whistle in 5 languages.~\nSleep needs at least 7-9 hours of {u} a day.~\n{u} doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.~\nIf {u} were to travel to an alternate dimension in which there was another {u} and they both fought, they would both win.~\n{u} does not own a stove, oven, or microwave, because revenge is a dish best served cold.~\n{u} does not sleep. He waits.~\nThere is no chin behind {u}'s beard. There is only another fist.~\n{u} drinks napalm to fight his heartburn.~\n{u}'s calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, because no one fools {u}.~\n{u} once shot an enemy plane down with his finger, by yelling, “Bang!”~\n{u} can speak Braille.~\n{u} once won a game of Connect Four in three moves.~\n{u} can slam revolving doors.~\n{u} makes onions cry.~\n{u} never retreats; He just attacks in the opposite direction.~\n{u} once punched a man in the soul.~\n{u} can do a wheelie on a unicycle.~\n{u} stands faster than anyone can run.~\n{u} can drown a fish.~\nWhen {u} looks in a mirror, the mirror shatters. Because not even glass is dumb enough to get in between {u} and {u} .~\nWhen {u} enters a room, he doesn’t turn the lights on, he turns the dark off.~\nThe only time {u} was ever wrong was when he thought he had made a mistake.~\n{u} is the only person that can punch a cyclops between the eye.~\nOuter space exists because it’s afraid to be on the same planet with {u}.~\n{u} doesn’t wear a watch. He decides what time it is.~\n{u} does not get frostbite. {u} bites frost.~\nThe Great Wall of China was originally created to keep {u} out. It didn’t work.~\nWhen {u} does division, there are no remainders.~\n{u} once went skydiving, but promised never to do it again. One Grand Canyon is enough.~\n{u} can cook minute rice in 30 seconds.~\n{u} can beat the sun in a staring contest.~\nSunglasses doesn't protect {u}'s eyes. It protects the sun.~\nWhen {u} visits a website, cookies accept him.~\nRed Bull doesn't energize {u}. {u} energizes Red Bull.~\nWhen {u} dials the wrong number, the person who picks up the phone apologizes for being the wrong person.~\nWhen {u} smokes, cigarettes gets cancer.~\nDoctor: You have cancer.\n{u}: Let it know it has 2 weeks to live.~\n{u} doesn't pay to watch Netflix. Netflix pays to watch {u}.~\nWhen {u} installs windows, Microsoft accepts his terms and conditions.}",
  "embed": "{}",
  "last_fetched": "2026-10-20T23:16:36.359Z"
}