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down this is a {rand:library,museum,saw trap where if you're too loud you get {rand:squooshed,banned,abraded,scolder},discord server},we {?:absolutely }do{?:n't} have time for games,crime is {rand:afoot,awesome,a moral prerogative},i {rand:would like,demand,beg,will die for my need} to be taken to {rand:slix flags,dlisney world,a black hole,the heliosphere},{rand:i'm,you're} a horrible {rand:2|little,big} gremlin,butts {?:butts} {?:butts} {?:{?:butts}} {?:{?:butts}} {?:{?:butts}} {?:{?:{?:butts}}} {?:{?:butts}} {?:{?:butts}} {?:{?:{?:butts}}} {?:{?:{?:butts}}} {?:{?:{?:butts}}},this discord server ain't big enough for the {rand:trillions of me,both of us,several of youse},wanna {rand:rip off,overthrow,elaborately heist} a {rand:merchant,castle,country,bank,target,state university} with me,i've made all of your {rand:hair,marbles,debit cards} {rand:fall out,turn {randcolor},get soggy},i'm full of {list({compnum}):{complist}},{rand:ldks,djfkshg,dfjhg,wfdkjg,fkdg}{rand:ldks,djfkshg,dfjhg,wfdkjg,fkdg}{rand:ldks,djfkshg,dfjhg,wfdkjg,fkdg},i would{?:n't} rather{?: not} be {rand:sleeping,in bed,asleep,fighting the mglorkaxians on tresmang six,painting,writing,coding,joyriding,committing petty acts of criminality,bolstering my street cred,lighting matches and watching them burn,watching a pot of {rand:water,paint,tar,nickelodeon slime} boil},my other {rand:car,discord server,bumper sticker,carl command} is a {rand:second car,discord server,horrible little gremlin,mario kart,horse-drawn chariot},{?:un}{rand:ban,mute} me {rand:nerd,loser,simp,buttface,you hubris-laden balloon},i love to {rand:sleep,lay,wallow} in {rand:golden,active,dead,thriving,amber} wheat {rand:fields,silos,bread},i'm{?:not} the {rand:undertaker,rock,new president,claw,big show,miz,thing},i'd absolutely{?: fail to} {rand:shred,destroy,delete,end,obliterate,embarrass} you on the {rand:blasketball,blaseball,glolf,clurling,plolo,bleyblade,sklateboard} {rand:clourse,dliamond,clourt,rlink,plool,alrena,plark},i make a{rand: killer,n awesome, terrible,n inedible,n unparalleled, peerless, memorable,n unforgettable,n unservable} {rand:lobster,potato,uranium,silver,cobblefish,chocolate,extra-dimensional,kitchen sink,herb} {rand:bisque,pie,quiche,toast,dip,spread,french toast,waffle,pancake,soup,broth,eggs benedict,salad,charcuterie},if you stare at my {rand:pic,name,description,visage,record} for too long we'll {rand:swap places,swap brains,fall in love},I once spent {rand:an entire year,a day,a week,a month,a lifetime} carrying a {rand:fist-sized rock,pair of nunchucks,hammer,pair of brass knuckles,club,stick,tree} around to {rand:smash,break,pulverize,obliterate} every {rand:piece,bit,sign} of {rand:ceramic,glass,hard candy,tootsie pop} i came across,i have {list({compnum}):{complist}} for {rand:teeth,fingers,toes,hair,a soul},I'm {rand:chasing,seeking,dreaming of} my goal of becoming a {rand:food truck,fine dining restaurant,sleazy diner},do{?:n't}{?: you} forget{?: about} me,i've been {rand:stand,sitt,ly,post}ing perfectly still for the last {rand:nineteen,three,six thousand nine hundred,eighty-two} minutes,{rand:cut a woodblock,carve a statue,weave a tapestry,etch a tintype} of me like one of your {rand:scottish,martian,lunar,solar,plutonian} {rand:enbies,friends,enemies,girls,boys},i can {rand:sell,offer,trade} you the {rand:past,future} for the {rand:low low,high,reasonable,standard} price of {list({seednum}):{numlist}} {randmoji},a{rand: list, catalog, document,n accounting} of {rand:my,your} {rand:sins,wrongdoings,crimes,warrants,blessings} would {rand:drown,crush,obliterate,sadden,hearten} {rand:you,me,us both,god,carl},if you look at your {rand:doorstep,mailbox,dining room table,basement} you'll find a {rand:cowboy hat,top hat,stylish vest,meat wagon,thriving empire} that i made for you{?:r dad},you've heard of me{?: haven't you?},sorry for carving a{rand: poem, haiku, screed, novella,n arcane sigil} detailing all of your {rand:wrongs,sins,misdeeds,charitable work} into your {rand:garage,front,back,side,car,van,office} door i was {rand:hangry,grumpy,bitter},riddle me piss: {rand:why,what,how,who,where,riley} {rand:is{?:n't},can{?:not},has five} {rand:three,europe,first,dogs,fish} {rand:does have,ashley,ashly,six fish,nine kinds,is like} {rand:through your mouth,a frying pan,or the egg,inside a room}{?: rings eternal}? A: ||{rand:it has,the,turn the,eight becase} {rand:greece at,chicken,fan on,ashley and ashly} {rand:the bottom,egg,are sisters,easier than it sounds}||,play my {rand:ribs,bones,skull,spine} like a{rand: xylophone, drum set,n accordion},my {?:ex-}{rand:girlfriend,boyfriend,partner,lover} is {rand:the milky way galaxy,yurts trunbo,a star blaseball player,six raccoons in a trenchcoat,your bff},{rand:i,you} {rand:live,sleep,work,travel} in a {rand:cave,house,spider,tree,castle} made of {list({compnum}):{complist}},{rand:i,you} invented {rand:fjords - fords,pjorts - pajamas,jeggings - leggings,jants - pants,jokers - chokers} made of jorts,{rand:i'm,you're,we're all} made of {rand:hope,disappointment,anger,delight,meat,fear,imagination} {rand:but,and} it's{?: not} {rand:someone else's,better than it sounds,worse than it sounds},i {rand:own,found,stole,forged} a{rand:n undiscovered,n unknown, fake, genuine,n original} {rand:picasso,rembrandt,pollock,van gogh,monet,dalí,degas,matisse,caravaggio} that i'm going to {rand:burn,eat,2|put into a printer and print {rand:sonic's,wario's,my,your,knuckles'} {rand:face,butt,last will and testamant} onto} before i {rand:die,leave for paris,change my mind,get arrested},i {rand:used to be,was once} a {rand:software,game,web} {rand:developer,designer} but {?:then }i upgraded to being {rand:in hell,a demon,asleep,a cryptid,a miserable pile of secrets},{rand:pot,tom}{rand:AYto,AHto} {rand:pot,tom}{rand:AYto,AHto},i once {rand:won,lost,rage quit,cheated at} a game of {rand:chess,checkers,quake,mario kart} against a {rand:whale,spider,discord troll,blaseball keeper},i have {rand:confiscated,shifted,reversed} your {rand:alphabet,english language,concept of speech,discord server,emotional baggage},your {rand:handwriting,word choice,carl command} {rand:sucks,is so pretty,is a joke,rules,kicks ass} ngl,i can't believe you've {rand:forced,caused,compelled} me to exist in this {rand:font,trash-ass discord server,physical plane,zone of implacable mortality,castle of jabronis},i'm {list({seednum}):{numlist}} {rand:bees,wasps,hornets,ungulates,amoeba,protozoa,banned discord users},i like to {rand:listen to,watch} the {rand:radio,chorus of the damned,seattle garages,skeattle skarages},i{?: don't} recommend {rand:deleting,looking at,thinking about} me,have {rand:you,i} ever {rand:seen,smelled,heard} so {rand:many,few} {rand:octopi,camels,cryptids,zoologists,disc horses}?,you {rand:should,need to,gotta} {rand:unionize,organize,revolt,have a coup},i'm all that's left of {rand:me,you,god},you gotta see how {rand:long,short,{randcolor}} my {rand:tongue,hair,leg,fanfic} is holy {rand:hell,crap,cannoli},look {rand:up how to {rand:cook {rand:{haggis,shepherds pie,accountants pie},juggle,find happiness,eat uni}},out for that {rand:accountant,spy,linebacker,rogue umpire},over these {rand:tax,security,heist plan} documents},i’ll make {rand:you,me} wish you’d{?:'nt}'ve {rand:left,found,ended} me in {rand:hell,hades,valhalla,the underworld,heaven,kansas},i’ve got a {rand:cool,tight,dope,sick}{?:-ass} {rand:cyber,extra} {rand:eye,leg,body,head,hand,butt},i have an {list({seednum}):{numlist}} {rand:foot,inch,meter,mile} {rand:vertical,horizontal,lateral,inverted,4-dimensional} leap,if you {rand:push me,knock me over,kick me as much as you want,shoulder tackle me,slap me with a hedgehog} i will{rand:n't, not} fall {rand:down,over},my {rand:center of gravity,emotional core,imagination,greatest asset} is {?:in} my {rand:eyeballs,heels,jorts,lead bones,brain,nervous system},my {rand:jorts,glasses,socks,earrings} are made of {list({compnum}):{complist}},i have a stuffed {rand:bear,dragon,rabbit,demon,hypercube} named {rand:paul,biff,hank,snookums,nolan,pantsfire},i would like to hold hands,bruh.,i’m way more than half {rand:rust,denim,spite,vinegar} by {rand:volume,weight},it's so {?:...}{rand:nice,good,encouraging,surprising,delightful}{?:...} to see you again my {rand:old,good,constant} {rand:friend,rival,frenemy,partner in crime},like a {rand:pit,trench,moat,swimming pool} full of {rand:spikes,crocodiles,sharks,fire,acid} I {?:can't} recommend {?:not} falling for me,i'm a {rand:traveling merchant,reality show pawn shop magnate,broke hipster,con artist{?:é},junk collector}. {rand:sample,browse,barter for} my {rand:wares,goods,products,inventory}? {list({seedmoji1}):{emojilist}} {list({seedmoji2}):{emojilist}} {list({seedmoji3}):{emojilist}} {list({seedmoji4}):{emojilist}},i am this {rand:galaxy,town,server,planet,square meter}'s foremost craftsperson of {list({seedmoji1}):{emojilist}},i'm {rand:lawful,neutral,chaotic,true} {rand:good,neutral,evil} and I have {range:1-1000} hp and I {rand:wield ,carry,possess} a {list({seedmoji1}):{emojilist}} and i am {rand:your friend,a {rand:common,special,boss} enemy,the main villain} and the only way to {rand:defeat,romance,befriend} me is to {rand:try even a little bit,collect the shards of my soul spread across discord,push me down thirty seven flights of stairs (individually),offer me {rand:strawberry,vanilla,nutella,mango} creme brulee},i'll predict {rand:your,my,our,the} future for {rand:free,a price,a thousand dollars,fifteen cents and a stick of gum} as long as you don't mind me {rand:lying,being wrong,copyrighting it},i'm wanted in so many states i'm not allowed to be {rand:solid,liquid,gas,in ohio,plasma,bose-einstein condensate} any more,i look like a {rand:dangerous,slavering,horrible,vicious} monster but i am in fact a normal treasure chest,wanna see a magic trick \\n\\n*you see a {randmoji}*\\n*there is a{rand: mighty, great,n echoing, deafening, blinding, resounding}* ✨\\\"**{rand:KAPOW,SHAZAM,KERPLONK,AH-CHOO}!**\\\"✨ \\n*the {randmoji} has {rand:become,turned into,morphed into} {list({seedmoji2}):{emojilist}}!!*\\n\\n*you hear a {rand:distant,quiet}* \\\"{rand:oops,hell yes,uhhhh,i'm so good,huzzah!,finally,better than last time,look at me now dad,phew,still got it}\\\",do{?:n't} talk to me {rand:unless,if} your name is {randname},{rand:I,YOU} HAVE{?:N'T} {rand:HEARD,SEEN} THE {rand:LAST,FIRST} OF {rand:ME,YOU}!,***sneak attack!***\\nyou are {rand:struck,whapped,jabbed,thwacked,bonked} with a {randmoji}!\\n*you hear dice roll on a {rand:table,dungeon floor,mat,rock}*\\nyou take ```{rand:fix\\n{range:1-10},diff\\n+ no,diff\\n- fatal} damage```,{?:oh }hey {rand:what's up,nerds,grumpypants} {rand:I,you} live here now,my favorite {rand:book,song,movie,broadway musical,concept,character,horse,fandom,sport,olympic event,speedrun,alternate universe} is Sonic the Hedgehog,my {?:least }favorite color is {randcolor},if you think you {rand:made me,typed that message,can tell me what to do,are the boss of me,can see me,have control of this situation} you're {rand:sorely mistaken,totally right,dead wrong,dead on},my {?:least }favorite XKCD is{?:n't} [this one](https://xkcd.com/{range:1-2378}/),are those new shoes? {rand:🥿,👞,🩰,👟,👠,🥾,👡,👢},wow my name is {rand:absolutely,completely,utterly} {rand:incredible,trash,phenomenal,garbage,delightful,hellish},have you ever wondered what was in that {rand:ominous,threatening,cheerful,mysterious,horrible} {rand:shed,box,castle,staircase,hovering door,portal,inky black orb,chaotic maelstrom} at the {rand:edge,center,middle,periphery} of your {rand:yard,basement,campus,block,property}?,only {rand:smoky the {rand:bear,skunk,hamster,sentient fireball,cement block,capybara,hor{rand:p,c,x,r}se},you,i} can prevent forest fires,if you think you saw me {rand:drunk,starting trouble,doing crime,juggling,miming,impersonating you,sprinting,doing magic} at the {rand:supermarket,party,soiuree,masquerade,fete,funeral,wedding,renaissance fair} yesterday, {rand:no you didn't,you sure did},{rand:shakespeare,archimedes,babbage,alexander graham bell,alfred nobel,tesla,edison,samuel morse,albert einstein,johannes gutenberg} is best known for {rand:vampire,clown,werewolf,actor,author,banker,scientist} {rand:hunting,smooching},i call {rand:50|heads,50|tails,edge}\\n\\n*a coin is flipped. it lands on {rand:50|heads,50|tails,edge}.*,insert {rand:good,bad,filler} quip here,anything {?:not }worth doing is{?:not }worth doing {rand:well,poorly,carefully,recklessly,without,badly,heedlessly,twice,thrice,with no handlebars},{rand:the world,mars,the moon,the earth,the sun,pluto,jupiter,venus,saturn,mercury,uranus,venus} is {rand:spherical,rhomboid,flat,tridecagonal,cylindrical,hexagonal,dodecagonal,prismatic},i'm going to make a great word now: {rand:a,b,c,d,e,f,g,h,i,j,k,l,m,n,o,p,q,r,s,t,u,v,w,x,y,z}{rand:a,b,c,d,e,f,g,h,i,j,k,l,m,n,o,p,q,r,s,t,u,v,w,x,y,z}{?:{rand:a,b,c,d,e,f,g,h,i,j,k,l,m,n,o,p,q,r,s,t,u,v,w,x,y,z}}{?:{rand:a,b,c,d,e,f,g,h,i,j,k,l,m,n,o,p,q,r,s,t,u,v,w,x,y,z}}{?:{rand:a,b,c,d,e,f,g,h,i,j,k,l,m,n,o,p,q,r,s,t,u,v,w,x,y,z}},i get a discount at the {rand:movie theater,hardware store,hair salon,water park,tractor supply store,auto shop,gamestop,best buy,bath and blody works,jewelry store,best hotels} for reasons that i think my profile picture make obvious,i look {rand:4|exactly,nothing} like my {rand:dog,cat,hamster,goldfish,parakeet,horse},this quip's way too lo-}\"}",
  "last_fetched": "2026-10-20T22:56:41.510Z"
}