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{user(mention)}{=(topic):{#:Coat hanger abortions.~
Man meat.~
Autocannibalism.~
Vigorous jazz hands.~
Flightless birds.~
Pictures of boobs.~
Doing the right thing.~
The violation of our most basic human rights.~
Viagra®.~
Self-loathing.~
Spectacular abs.~
A balanced breakfast.~
Roofies.~
Concealing a boner.~
Amputees.~
The Big Bang.~
Former President George W. Bush.~
The Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.~
Smegma.~
Being marginalized.~
Cuddling.~
Laying an egg.~
The Pope.~
Aaron Burr.~
Genital piercings.~
Fingering.~
A bleached asshole.~
Horse meat.~
Fear itself.~
Science.~
Elderly Japanese men.~
Stranger danger.~
The terrorists.~
Praying the gay away.~
Same-sex ice dancing.~
Ethnic cleansing.~
Cheating in the Special Olympics.~
German dungeon porn.~
Bingeing and purging.~
Making a pouty face.~
William Shatner.~
Heteronormativity.~
Nickelback.~
Tom Cruise.~
The profoundly handicapped.~
The placenta.~
Chainsaws for hands.~
Arnold Schwarzenegger.~
An icepick lobotomy.~
Goblins.~
Object permanence.~
Dying.~
Foreskin.~
A falcon with a cap on its head.~
Hormone injections.~
Dying of dysentery.~
Sexy pillow fights.~
The invisible hand.~
A really cool hat.~
Sean Penn.~
Heartwarming orphans.~
The clitoris.~
The Three-Fifths compromise.~
A sad handjob.~
Men.~
Historically black colleges.~
A micropenis.~
Raptor attacks.~
Agriculture.~
Vikings.~
Pretending to care.~
The Underground Railroad.~
My humps.~
Being a dick to children.~
Geese.~
Bling.~
Sniffing glue.~
The South.~
An Oedipus complex.~
Eating all of the cookies before the AIDS bake-sale.~
Sexting.~
YOU MUST CONSTRUCT ADDITIONAL PYLONS.~
Mutually-assured destruction.~
Sunshine and rainbows.~
Count Chocula.~
Sharing needles.~
Being rich.~
Skeletor.~
A sausage festival.~
Michael Jackson.~
Emotions.~
Farting and walking away.~
The Chinese gymnastics team.~
Necrophilia.~
Spontaneous human combustion.~
Yeast.~
Leaving an awkward voicemail.~
Dick Cheney.~
White people.~
Penis envy.~
Teaching a robot to love.~
Sperm whales.~
Scrubbing under the folds.~
Panda sex.~
Whipping it out.~
Catapults.~
Masturbation.~
Natural selection.~
Opposable thumbs.~
A sassy black woman.~
AIDS.~
The KKK.~
Figgy pudding.~
Seppuku.~
Gandhi.~
Preteens.~
Toni Morrison's vagina.~
Five-Dollar Footlongs™.~
Land mines.~
A sea of troubles.~
A zesty breakfast burrito.~
Christopher Walken.~
Friction.~
Balls.~
Dental dams.~
A can of whoop-ass.~
A tiny horse.~
Waiting 'til marriage.~
Authentic Mexican cuisine.~
Genghis Khan.~
Old-people smell.~
Feeding Rosie O'Donnell.~
Pixelated bukkake.~
Friends with benefits.~
The token minority.~
The Tempur-Pedic® Swedish Sleep System™.~
A thermonuclear detonation.~
Take-backsies.~
The Rapture.~
A cooler full of organs.~
Sweet, sweet vengeance.~
RoboCop.~
Keanu Reeves.~
Drinking alone.~
Giving 110%.~
Flesh-eating bacteria.~
The American Dream.~
Taking off your shirt.~
Me time.~
A murder most foul.~
The inevitable heat death of the universe.~
The folly of man.~
That thing that electrocutes your abs.~
Cards Against Humanity.~
Fiery poops.~
Poor people.~
Edible underpants.~
Britney Spears at 55.~
All-you-can-eat shrimp for $4.99.~
Pooping back and forth. Forever.~
Fancy Feast®.~
Jewish fraternities.~
Being a motherfucking sorcerer.~
Pulling out.~
Picking up girls at the abortion clinic.~
The homosexual agenda.~
The Holy Bible.~
Passive-agression.~
Ronald Reagan.~
Vehicular manslaughter.~
Nipple blades.~
Assless chaps.~
Full frontal nudity.~
Hulk Hogan.~
Daddy issues.~
The hardworking Mexican.~
Natalie Portman.~
Waking up half-naked in a Denny's parking lot.~
God.~
Sean Connery.~
Saxophone solos.~
Gloryholes.~
The World of Warcraft.~
Homeless people.~
Scalping.~
Darth Vader.~
Eating the last known bison.~
Guys who don't call.~
Hot Pockets®.~
A time travel paradox.~
The milk man.~
Testicular torsion.~
Dropping a chandelier on your enemies and riding the rope up.~
World peace.~
A salty surprise.~
Poorly-timed Holocaust jokes.~
Smallpox blankets.~
Licking things to claim them as your own.~
The heart of a child.~
Robert Downey, Jr.~
Lockjaw.~
Eugenics.~
A good sniff.~
Friendly fire.~
The taint; the grundle; the fleshy fun-bridge.~
Wearing underwear inside-out to avoid doing laundry.~
Hurricane Katrina.~
Free samples.~
Jerking off into a pool of children's tears.~
A foul mouth.~
The glass ceiling.~
Republicans.~
Explosions.~
Michelle Obama's arms.~
Getting really high.~
Attitude.~
Sarah Palin.~
The Übermensch.~
Altar boys.~
My soul.~
My sex life.~
Pedophiles.~
72 virgins.~
Pabst Blue Ribbon.~
Domino's™ Oreo™ Dessert Pizza.~
A snapping turtle biting the tip of your penis.~
The Blood of Christ.~
Half-assed foreplay.~
My collection of high-tech sex toys.~
A middle-aged man on roller skates.~
Bitches.~
Bill Nye the Science Guy.~
Italians.~
A windmill full of corpses.~
Adderall™.~
Crippling debt.~
A stray pube.~
Prancing.~
Passing a kidney stone.~
A brain tumor.~
Leprosy.~
Puppies!~
Bees?~
Frolicking.~
Repression.~
Road head.~
A bag of magic beans.~
An asymmetric boob job.~
Dead parents.~
Public ridicule.~
A mating display.~
A mime having a stroke.~
Stephen Hawking talking dirty.~
African children.~
Mouth herpes.~
Overcompensation.~
Riding off into the sunset.~
Being on fire.~
Tangled Slinkys.~
Civilian casualties.~
Auschwitz.~
My genitals.~
Not reciprocating oral sex.~
Lactation.~
Being fabulous.~
Shaquille O'Neal's acting career.~
My relationship status.~
Asians who aren't good at math.~
Alcoholism.~
Incest.~
Grave robbing.~
Hope.~
8 oz. of sweet Mexican black-tar heroin.~
Kids with ass cancer.~
Winking at old people.~
The Jews.~
Justin Bieber.~
Doin' it in the butt.~
A lifetime of sadness.~
The Hamburglar.~
Swooping.~
Classist undertones.~
New Age music.~
Not giving a shit about the Third World.~
The Kool-Aid Man.~
A hot mess.~
Tentacle porn.~
Lumberjack fantasies.~
The gays.~
Scientology.~
Estrogen.~
GoGurt®.~
Judge Judy.~
Dick fingers.~
Racism.~
Surprise sex!~
Police brutality.~
Passable transvestites.~
The Virginia Tech Massacre.~
When you fart and a little bit comes out.~
Oompa-Loompas.~
A fetus.~
Obesity.~
Tasteful sideboob.~
Hot people.~
BATMAN!!!~
Black people.~
A gassy antelope.~
Sexual tension.~
Third base.~
Racially-biased SAT questions.~
Porn stars.~
A Super Soaker™ full of cat pee.~
Muhammed (Praise Be Unto Him).~
Puberty.~
A disappointing birthday party.~
An erection that lasts longer than four hours.~
White privilege.~
Getting so angry that you pop a boner.~
Wifely duties.~
Two midgets shitting into a bucket.~
Queefing.~
Wiping her butt.~
Golden showers.~
Barack Obama.~
Nazis.~
A robust mongoloid.~
An M. Night Shyamalan plot twist.~
Getting drunk on mouthwash.~
Lunchables™.~
Women in yogurt commercials.~
John Wilkes Booth.~
Powerful thighs.~
Mr. Clean, right behind you.~
Multiple stab wounds.~
Cybernetic enhancements.~
Serfdom.~
Kanye West.~
Women's suffrage.~
Children on leashes.~
Harry Potter erotica.~
The Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy.~
Lance Armstrong's missing testicle.~
Parting the Red Sea.~
The Amish.~
Dead babies.~
Child beauty pageants.~
AXE Body Spray.~
Centaurs.~
Copping a feel.~
Grandma.~
Famine.~
The Trail of Tears.~
The miracle of childbirth.~
Finger painting.~
A monkey smoking a cigar.~
The Make-A-Wish® Foundation.~
Anal beads.~
The Force.~
Kamikaze pilots.~
Dry heaving.~
Active listening.~
Ghosts.~
The Hustle.~
Peeing a little bit.~
Another goddamn vampire movie.~
Shapeshifters.~
The Care Bear Stare.~
Hot cheese.~
A mopey zoo lion.~
A defective condom.~
Teenage pregnancy.~
A Bop It™.~
Expecting a burp and vomiting on the floor.~
Horrifying laser hair removal accidents.~
Boogers.~
Unfathomable stupidity.~
Breaking out into song and dance.~
Soup that is too hot.~
Morgan Freeman's voice.~
Getting naked and watching Nickelodeon.~
MechaHitler.~
Flying sex snakes.~
The true meaning of Christmas.~
My inner demons.~
Pac-Man uncontrollably guzzling cum.~
My vagina.~
A homoerotic volleyball montage.~
Actually taking candy from a baby.~
Crystal meth.~
Exactly what you'd expect.~
Natural male enhancement.~
Passive-aggressive Post-it notes.~
Inappropriate yodeling.~
Lady Gaga.~
The Little Engine That Could.~
Vigilante justice.~
A death ray.~
Poor life choices.~
A gentle caress of the inner thigh.~
Embryonic stem cells.~
Nicolas Cage.~
Firing a rifle into the air while balls deep in a squealing hog.~
Switching to Geico®.~
The chronic.~
Erectile dysfunction.~
Home video of Oprah sobbing into a Lean Cuisine®.~
A bucket of fish heads.~
50,000 volts straight to the nipples.~
Being fat and stupid.~
Hospice care.~
A pyramid of severed heads.~
Getting married, having a few kids, buying some stuff, retiring to Florida, and dying.~
A subscription to Men's Fitness.~
Crucifixion.~
A micropig wearing a tiny raincoat and booties.~
Some god-damn peace and quiet.~
Used panties.~
A tribe of warrior women.~
The penny whistle solo from "My Heart Will Go On."~
An oversized lollipop.~
Helplessly giggling at the mention of Hutus and Tutsis.~
Not wearing pants.~
Consensual sex.~
Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II.~
Funky fresh rhymes.~
The art of seduction.~
The Devil himself.~
Advice from a wise, old black man.~
Destroying the evidence.~
The light of a billion suns.~
Wet dreams.~
Synergistic management solutions.~
Growing a pair.~
Silence.~
An M16 assault rifle.~
Poopy diapers.~
A live studio audience.~
The Great Depression.~
A spastic nerd.~
Rush Limbaugh's soft, shitty body.~
Tickling Sean Hannity, even after he tells you to stop.~
Stalin.~
Brown people.~
Rehab.~
Capturing Newt Gingrich and forcing him to dance in a monkey suit.~
Battlefield amputations.~
An uppercut.~
Shiny objects.~
An ugly face.~
Menstrual rage.~
A bitch slap.~
One trillion dollars.~
Chunks of dead prostitute.~
The entire Mormon Tabernacle Choir.~
The female orgasm.~
Extremely tight pants.~
The Boy Scouts of America.~
Stormtroopers.~
Throwing a virgin into a volcano.~
Getting in her pants, politely.~
Gladiatorial combat.~
Good grammar.~
Hipsters.~
Gandalf.~
Genetically engineered super-soldiers.~
George Clooney's musk.~
Getting abducted by Peter Pan.~
Eating an albino.~
Enormous Scandinavian women.~
Fabricating statistics.~
Finding a skeleton.~
Suicidal thoughts.~
Dancing with a broom.~
Deflowering the princess.~
Dorito breath.~
One thousand Slim Jims.~
My machete.~
Overpowering your father.~
Ominous background music.~
Media coverage.~
Making the penises kiss.~
Moral ambiguity.~
Medieval Times® Dinner & Tournament.~
Mad hacky-sack skills.~
Just the tip.~
Literally eating shit.~
Leveling up.~
Insatiable bloodlust.~
Historical revisionism.~
Jean-Claude Van Damme.~
Jafar.~
The boners of the elderly.~
The economy.~
Statistically validated stereotypes.~
Sudden Poop Explosion Disease.~
Slow motion.~
Space muffins.~
Sexual humiliation.~
Sexy Siamese twins.~
Santa Claus.~
Scrotum tickling.~
Ripping into a man's chest and pulling out his still-beating heart.~
Ryan Gosling riding in on a white horse.~
Quivering jowls.~
Revenge fucking.~
Pistol-whipping a hostage.~
Quiche.~
Zeus's sexual appetites.~
Words, words, words.~
Tripping balls.~
Being a busy adult with many important things to do.~
The four arms of Vishnu.~
The shambling corpse of Larry King.~
The hiccups.~
The harsh light of day.~
The Gulags.~
The Fanta® girls.~
A big black dick.~
A beached whale.~
A low standard of living.~
A nuanced critique.~
A bloody pacifier.~
A crappy little hand.~
Shaft.~
Being a dinosaur.~
Beating your wives.~
Neil Patrick Harris.~
Coughing into a vagina.~
Carnies.~
Nubile slave boys.~
Bosnian chicken farmers.~
A web of lies.~
A rival dojo.~
A passionate Latino lover.~
Panty raids.~
Appreciative snapping.~
Apologizing.~
Clams.~
A woman scorned.~
Being awesome at sex.~
Spring break!~
Another shot of morphine.~
Dining with cardboard cutouts of the cast of "Friends."~
A soulful rendition of "Ol' Man River."~
Making a friend.~
A sweaty, panting leather daddy.~
Intimacy problems.~
The new Radiohead album.~
Pretty Pretty Princess Dress-Up Board Game®.~
A man in yoga pants with a ponytail and feather earrings.~
An army of skeletons.~
A squadron of moles wearing aviator goggles.~
Beefin' over turf.~
The Google.~
Bullshit.~
A sweet spaceship.~
A 55-gallon drum of lube.~
Special musical guest, Cher.~
The human body.~
Mild autism.~
Nunchuck moves.~
Whipping a disobedient slave.~
An ether-soaked rag.~
Oncoming traffic.~
A dollop of sour cream.~
A slightly shittier parallel universe.~
My first kill.~
Boris the Soviet Love Hammer.~
The grey nutrient broth that sustains Mitt Romney.~
Tiny nipples.~
Power.~
Death by Steven Seagal.~
A Burmese tiger pit.~
Basic human decency.~
Grandpa's ashes.~
One Ring to rule them all.~
The day the birds attacked.~
Fetal alcohol syndrome.~
Graphic violence, adult language, and some sexual content.~
A bigger, blacker dick.~
The mere concept of Applebee's®.~
A sad fat dragon with no friends.~
A piñata full of scorpions.~
Existing.~
Hillary Clinton's death stare.~
Catastrophic urethral trauma.~
Double penetration.~
Daddy's belt.~
Swiftly achieving orgasm.~
Mooing.~
Rising from the grave.~
Subduing a grizzly bear and making her your wife.~
Some really fucked-up shit.~
Weapons-grade plutonium.~
All of this blood.~
Scrotal frostbite.~
Taking a man's eyes and balls out and putting his eyes where his balls go and then his balls in the eye holes.~
The mixing of the races.~
Pumping out a baby every nine months.~
Tongue.~
Loki, the trickster god.~
Whining like a little bitch.~
Wearing an octopus for a hat.~
An unhinged ferris wheel rolling toward the sea.~
Finding Waldo.~
Upgrading homeless people to mobile hotspots.~
A magic hippie love cloud.~
Fuck Mountain.~
Living in a trashcan.~
The corporations.~
Getting hilariously gang-banged by the Blue Man Group.~
Jeff Goldblum.~
Survivor's guilt.~
Me.~
All my friends dying.~
Shutting the fuck up.~
An ass disaster.~
Some kind of bird-man.~
The entire Internet.~
Going around punching people.~
A boo-boo.~
Indescribable loneliness.~
Having sex on top of a pizza.~
Chugging a lava lamp.~
Warm, velvety muppet sex.~
Running naked through a mall, pissing and shitting everywhere.~
Nothing.~
Samuel L. Jackson.~
Self-flagellation.~
The systematic destruction of an entire people and their way of life.~
The Quesadilla Explosion Salad™ from Chili's®.~
Reverse cowgirl.~
Vietnam flashbacks.~
Actually getting shot, for real.~
Not having sex.~
Cock.~
Dying alone and in pain.~
A cop who is also a dog.~
The way white people is.~
Gay aliens.~
The primal, ball-slapping sex your parents are having right now.~
A cat video so cute that your eyes roll back and your spine slides out of your anus.~
A lamprey swimming up the toilet and latching onto your taint.~
Slapping a racist old lady.~
A black male in his early 20s, last seen wearing a hoodie.~
Jumping out at people.~
Three months in the hole.~
Blood farts.~
The Land of Chocolate.~
A botched circumcision.~
My manservant, Claude.~
Vomiting mid-blowjob.~
Letting everyone down.~
Having shotguns for legs.~
Bill Clinton, naked on a bearskin rug with a saxophone.~
Mufasa's death scene.~
The Harlem Globetrotters.~
Demonic possession.~
Fisting.~
The thin veneer of situational causality that underlies porn.~
Girls that always be textin'.~
Blowing some dudes in an alley.~
A spontaneous conga line.~
A vagina that leads to another dimension.~
Disco fever.~
Getting your dick stuck in a Chinese finger trap with another dick.~
Drinking ten 5-hour ENERGYs® to get fifty continuous hours of energy.~
Sneezing, farting, and coming at the same time.~
Some douche with an acoustic guitar.~
Spending lots of money.~
Putting an entire peanut butter and jelly sandwich into the VCR.~
An unstoppable wave of fire ants.~
A greased-up Matthew McConaughey.~
Flying robots that kill people.~
Unlimited soup, salad, and breadsticks.~
Crying into the pages of Sylvia Plath.~
The moist, demanding chasm of his mouth.~
Filling every orifice with butterscotch pudding.~
An all-midget production of Shakespeare's *Richard III*.~
Screaming like a maniac.~
Not contributing to society in any meaningful way.~
A pile of squirming bodies.~
Buying the right pants to be cool.~
Roland the Farter, flatulist to the king.~
That ass.~
A surprising amount of hair.~
Eating Tom Selleck's mustache to gain his powers.~
Velcro™.~
A PowerPoint presentation.~
Crazy opium eyes.~
10 Incredible Facts About the Anus.~
An interracial handshake.~
Moderate-to-severe joint pain.~
Finally finishing off the Indians.~
Sugar madness.~
Actual mutants with medical conditions and no superpowers.~
The secret formula for ultimate female satisfaction.~
The complex geopolitical quagmire that is the Middle East.~
Fucking a corpse back to life.~
Neil Diamond's Greatest Hits.~
Calculating every mannerism so as not to suggest homosexuality.~
Whatever a McRib® is made of.~
No clothes on, penis in vagina.~
All the single ladies.~
Whispering all sexy.~
How awesome I am.~
Ass to mouth.~
Smoking crack, for instance.~
Falling into the toilet.~
A dance move that's just sex.~
The size of my penis.~
Some sort of Asian.~
A hopeless amount of spiders.~
Party Mexicans.~
Drinking responsibly.~
The safe word.~
Angelheaded hipsters burning for the ancient heavenly connection to the starry dynamo in the machinery of night.~
Bouncing up and down.~
Jizz.~
Ambiguous sarcasm.~
A shiny rock that proves I love you.~
Dem titties.~
My worthless son.~
Exploding pigeons.~
A Ugandan warlord.~
My sex dungeon.~
A kiss on the lips.~
Child Protective Services.~
A Native American who solves crimes by going into the spirit world.~
Doo-doo.~
The peaceful and nonthreatening rise of China.~
Sports.~
A fart.~
Unquestioning obedience.~
Three consecutive seconds of happiness.~
Grammar nazis who are also regular Nazis.~
Snorting coke off a clown's boner.~
Africa.~
Depression.~
A horse with no legs.~
The euphoric rush of strangling a drifter.~
Khakis.~
Interspecies marriage.~
A gender identity that can only be conveyed through slam poetry.~
Almost giving money to a homeless person.~
Stuff a child's face with Fun Dip® until he starts having fun.~
What Jesus would do.~
A for-real lizard that spits blood from its eyes.~
Blackula.~
The tiniest shred of evidence that God is real.~
My dad's dumb fucking face.~
Prince Ali, fabulous he, Ali Ababwa.~
A manhole.~
A sex goblin with a carnival penis.~
A bunch of idiots playing a card game instead of interacting like normal humans.~
A sex comet from Neptune that plunges the Earth into eternal sexiness.~
Sharks with legs.~
Injecting speed into one arm and horse tranquilizer into the other.~
Lots and lots of abortions.~
Seeing things from Hitler's perspective~
Too much cocaine.~
Doing the right stuff to her nipples.~
Giant sperm from outer space.~
Oil!~
Ennui.~
A powered exoskeleton.~
A disappointing salad.~
Mom's new boyfriend.~
Unrelenting genital punishment.~
Denzel.~
The swim team, all at once.~
The eight gay warlocks who dictate the rules of fashion.~
Being nine years old.~
The unbelievable world of mushrooms.~
The Abercrombie & Fitch lifestyle.~
Vegetarian options.~
My first period.~
Having been dead for a while.~
Backwards knees.~
Being paralyzed from the neck down.~
Seeing my village burned and my family slaughtered before my eyes.~
A zero-risk way to make $2,000 from home.~
A crazy little thing called love.~
Ancient Athenian boy-fucking~
Out-of-this-world bazongas.~
The ghost of Marlon Brando.~
The basic suffering that pervades all of existence.~
Being worshipped as the one true God.~
Figuring out how to have sex with a dolphin.~
All these decorative pillows.~
A mouthful of potato salad.~
Russian super-tuberculosis.~
A reason not to commit suicide.~
Going to a high school reunion on ketamine.~
The passage of time.~
Child support payments.~
Changing a person's mind with logic and facts.~
My boyfriend's stupid penis.~
The tiger that killed my father.~
Genghis Khan's DNA.~
Boring vaginal sex.~
40 acres and a mule.~
A whole new kind of porn.~
Slowly easing down onto a cucumber.~
Wearing glasses and sounding smart.~
AIDS monkeys.~
A team of lawyers.~
Getting drive-by shot.~
Not believing in giraffes.~
Anal fissures like you wouldn't believe.~
A giant powdery manbaby.~
Cutting off a flamingo's legs with garden shears.~
P.F. Chang himself.~
An uninterrupted history of imperialism and exploitation.~
A one-way ticket to Gary, Indiana.~
Daddy's credit card.~
September 11th, 2001.~
An unforgettable quinceañera.~
Deez nuts.~
Social justice warriors with flamethrowers of compassion.~
Some shit-hot guitar licks.~
Butt stuff.~
Blackface.~
Blowjobs for everyone.~
Getting eaten alive by Guy Fieri.~
Western standards of beauty.~
Ejaculating live bees and the bees are angry.~
My dead son's baseball glove.~
Getting caught by the police and going to jail.~
A face full of horse cum.~
Free ice cream, yo.~
The white half of Barack Obama.~
The black half of Barack Obama.~
An inability to form meaningful relationships.~
A bass drop so huge it tears the starry vault asunder to reveal the face of God.~
Growing up chained to a radiator in perpetual darkness.~
Shitting all over the floor like a bad, bad girl.~
A buttload of candy.~
Sucking all the milk out of a yak.~
Bullets.~
A man who is so cool that he rides on a motorcycle.~
Sudden penis loss.~
Getting all offended.~
Crying and shitting and eating spaghetti.~
One unforgettable night of passion.~
Being popular and good at sports.~
Filling a man's anus with concrete.~
Two whales fucking the shit out of eachother.~
Cool, relateable cancer teens.~
The amount of gay I am.~
A possible Muslim.~
Unsheathing my massive horse cock.~
A bowl of gourds.~
The male gaze.~
The power of the Dark Side.~
Ripping a dog in half.~
A constant need for validation.~
Meaningless sex.~
Such a big boy.~
Throwing stones at a man until he dies.~
Cancer.~
Like a million alligators.~
Eating together like a god damn family for once.~
Cute boys.~
Pussy.~
Being a terrible mother.~
Never having sex again.~
A pizza guy who fucked up.~
A whole lotta woman.~
The all-new Nissan Pathfinder with 0.9% APR financing!~
A peyote-fueled vision quest.~
Kale.~
Breastfeeding a ten year old.~
Crippling social anxiety.~
Immortality cream.~
Texas.~
Teaching a girl how to handjob the penis.~
A turd.~
Shapes and colors.~
Whatever you wish, mother.~
The haunting stare of an Iraqi child.~
Robots who just want to party.~
A self-microwaving burrito.~
Forgetting grandma's first name.~
Our new Buffalo Chicken Dippers®!~
Treasures beyond your wildest dreams.~
Getting shot out of a cannon.~
The sweet song of sword against and the braying of mighty war beasts.~
Walking into a glass door.~
The color "puce".~
Every ounce of charisma left in Mick Jagger's tired body.~
The eighth graders.~
Setting my balls on fire and cartwheeling to Ohio.~
The dentist.~
Gwyneth Paltrow's opinions.~
Turning the rivers red with the blood of infidels.~
Rabies.~
Important news about Taylor Swift.~
Ejaculating inside another man's wife.~}}{=(output):{cycle({uses}):{topic}}}

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  "content": "{user(mention)}{=(topic):{#:Coat hanger abortions.~\nMan meat.~\nAutocannibalism.~\nVigorous jazz hands.~\nFlightless birds.~\nPictures of boobs.~\nDoing the right thing.~\nThe violation of our most basic human rights.~\nViagra®.~\nSelf-loathing.~\nSpectacular abs.~\nA balanced breakfast.~\nRoofies.~\nConcealing a boner.~\nAmputees.~\nThe Big Bang.~\nFormer President George W. Bush.~\nThe Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.~\nSmegma.~\nBeing marginalized.~\nCuddling.~\nLaying an egg.~\nThe Pope.~\nAaron Burr.~\nGenital piercings.~\nFingering.~\nA bleached asshole.~\nHorse meat.~\nFear itself.~\nScience.~\nElderly Japanese men.~\nStranger danger.~\nThe terrorists.~\nPraying the gay away.~\nSame-sex ice dancing.~\nEthnic cleansing.~\nCheating in the Special Olympics.~\nGerman dungeon porn.~\nBingeing and purging.~\nMaking a pouty face.~\nWilliam Shatner.~\nHeteronormativity.~\nNickelback.~\nTom Cruise.~\nThe profoundly handicapped.~\nThe placenta.~\nChainsaws for hands.~\nArnold Schwarzenegger.~\nAn icepick lobotomy.~\nGoblins.~\nObject permanence.~\nDying.~\nForeskin.~\nA falcon with a cap on its head.~\nHormone injections.~\nDying of dysentery.~\nSexy pillow fights.~\nThe invisible hand.~\nA really cool hat.~\nSean Penn.~\nHeartwarming orphans.~\nThe clitoris.~\nThe Three-Fifths compromise.~\nA sad handjob.~\nMen.~\nHistorically black colleges.~\nA micropenis.~\nRaptor attacks.~\nAgriculture.~\nVikings.~\nPretending to care.~\nThe Underground Railroad.~\nMy humps.~\nBeing a dick to children.~\nGeese.~\nBling.~\nSniffing glue.~\nThe South.~\nAn Oedipus complex.~\nEating all of the cookies before the AIDS bake-sale.~\nSexting.~\nYOU MUST CONSTRUCT ADDITIONAL PYLONS.~\nMutually-assured destruction.~\nSunshine and rainbows.~\nCount Chocula.~\nSharing needles.~\nBeing rich.~\nSkeletor.~\nA sausage festival.~\nMichael Jackson.~\nEmotions.~\nFarting and walking away.~\nThe Chinese gymnastics team.~\nNecrophilia.~\nSpontaneous human combustion.~\nYeast.~\nLeaving an awkward voicemail.~\nDick Cheney.~\nWhite people.~\nPenis envy.~\nTeaching a robot to love.~\nSperm whales.~\nScrubbing under the folds.~\nPanda sex.~\nWhipping it out.~\nCatapults.~\nMasturbation.~\nNatural selection.~\nOpposable thumbs.~\nA sassy black woman.~\nAIDS.~\nThe KKK.~\nFiggy pudding.~\nSeppuku.~\nGandhi.~\nPreteens.~\nToni Morrison's vagina.~\nFive-Dollar Footlongs™.~\nLand mines.~\nA sea of troubles.~\nA zesty breakfast burrito.~\nChristopher Walken.~\nFriction.~\nBalls.~\nDental dams.~\nA can of whoop-ass.~\nA tiny horse.~\nWaiting 'til marriage.~\nAuthentic Mexican cuisine.~\nGenghis Khan.~\nOld-people smell.~\nFeeding Rosie O'Donnell.~\nPixelated bukkake.~\nFriends with benefits.~\nThe token minority.~\nThe Tempur-Pedic® Swedish Sleep System™.~\nA thermonuclear detonation.~\nTake-backsies.~\nThe Rapture.~\nA cooler full of organs.~\nSweet, sweet vengeance.~\nRoboCop.~\nKeanu Reeves.~\nDrinking alone.~\nGiving 110%.~\nFlesh-eating bacteria.~\nThe American Dream.~\nTaking off your shirt.~\nMe time.~\nA murder most foul.~\nThe inevitable heat death of the universe.~\nThe folly of man.~\nThat thing that electrocutes your abs.~\nCards Against Humanity.~\nFiery poops.~\nPoor people.~\nEdible underpants.~\nBritney Spears at 55.~\nAll-you-can-eat shrimp for $4.99.~\nPooping back and forth. Forever.~\nFancy Feast®.~\nJewish fraternities.~\nBeing a motherfucking sorcerer.~\nPulling out.~\nPicking up girls at the abortion clinic.~\nThe homosexual agenda.~\nThe Holy Bible.~\nPassive-agression.~\nRonald Reagan.~\nVehicular manslaughter.~\nNipple blades.~\nAssless chaps.~\nFull frontal nudity.~\nHulk Hogan.~\nDaddy issues.~\nThe hardworking Mexican.~\nNatalie Portman.~\nWaking up half-naked in a Denny's parking lot.~\nGod.~\nSean Connery.~\nSaxophone solos.~\nGloryholes.~\nThe World of Warcraft.~\nHomeless people.~\nScalping.~\nDarth Vader.~\nEating the last known bison.~\nGuys who don't call.~\nHot Pockets®.~\nA time travel paradox.~\nThe milk man.~\nTesticular torsion.~\nDropping a chandelier on your enemies and riding the rope up.~\nWorld peace.~\nA salty surprise.~\nPoorly-timed Holocaust jokes.~\nSmallpox blankets.~\nLicking things to claim them as your own.~\nThe heart of a child.~\nRobert Downey, Jr.~\nLockjaw.~\nEugenics.~\nA good sniff.~\nFriendly fire.~\nThe taint; the grundle; the fleshy fun-bridge.~\nWearing underwear inside-out to avoid doing laundry.~\nHurricane Katrina.~\nFree samples.~\nJerking off into a pool of children's tears.~\nA foul mouth.~\nThe glass ceiling.~\nRepublicans.~\nExplosions.~\nMichelle Obama's arms.~\nGetting really high.~\nAttitude.~\nSarah Palin.~\nThe Übermensch.~\nAltar boys.~\nMy soul.~\nMy sex life.~\nPedophiles.~\n72 virgins.~\nPabst Blue Ribbon.~\nDomino's™ Oreo™ Dessert Pizza.~\nA snapping turtle biting the tip of your penis.~\nThe Blood of Christ.~\nHalf-assed foreplay.~\nMy collection of high-tech sex toys.~\nA middle-aged man on roller skates.~\nBitches.~\nBill Nye the Science Guy.~\nItalians.~\nA windmill full of corpses.~\nAdderall™.~\nCrippling debt.~\nA stray pube.~\nPrancing.~\nPassing a kidney stone.~\nA brain tumor.~\nLeprosy.~\nPuppies!~\nBees?~\nFrolicking.~\nRepression.~\nRoad head.~\nA bag of magic beans.~\nAn asymmetric boob job.~\nDead parents.~\nPublic ridicule.~\nA mating display.~\nA mime having a stroke.~\nStephen Hawking talking dirty.~\nAfrican children.~\nMouth herpes.~\nOvercompensation.~\nRiding off into the sunset.~\nBeing on fire.~\nTangled Slinkys.~\nCivilian casualties.~\nAuschwitz.~\nMy genitals.~\nNot reciprocating oral sex.~\nLactation.~\nBeing fabulous.~\nShaquille O'Neal's acting career.~\nMy relationship status.~\nAsians who aren't good at math.~\nAlcoholism.~\nIncest.~\nGrave robbing.~\nHope.~\n8 oz. of sweet Mexican black-tar heroin.~\nKids with ass cancer.~\nWinking at old people.~\nThe Jews.~\nJustin Bieber.~\nDoin' it in the butt.~\nA lifetime of sadness.~\nThe Hamburglar.~\nSwooping.~\nClassist undertones.~\nNew Age music.~\nNot giving a shit about the Third World.~\nThe Kool-Aid Man.~\nA hot mess.~\nTentacle porn.~\nLumberjack fantasies.~\nThe gays.~\nScientology.~\nEstrogen.~\nGoGurt®.~\nJudge Judy.~\nDick fingers.~\nRacism.~\nSurprise sex!~\nPolice brutality.~\nPassable transvestites.~\nThe Virginia Tech Massacre.~\nWhen you fart and a little bit comes out.~\nOompa-Loompas.~\nA fetus.~\nObesity.~\nTasteful sideboob.~\nHot people.~\nBATMAN!!!~\nBlack people.~\nA gassy antelope.~\nSexual tension.~\nThird base.~\nRacially-biased SAT questions.~\nPorn stars.~\nA Super Soaker™ full of cat pee.~\nMuhammed (Praise Be Unto Him).~\nPuberty.~\nA disappointing birthday party.~\nAn erection that lasts longer than four hours.~\nWhite privilege.~\nGetting so angry that you pop a boner.~\nWifely duties.~\nTwo midgets shitting into a bucket.~\nQueefing.~\nWiping her butt.~\nGolden showers.~\nBarack Obama.~\nNazis.~\nA robust mongoloid.~\nAn M. Night Shyamalan plot twist.~\nGetting drunk on mouthwash.~\nLunchables™.~\nWomen in yogurt commercials.~\nJohn Wilkes Booth.~\nPowerful thighs.~\nMr. Clean, right behind you.~\nMultiple stab wounds.~\nCybernetic enhancements.~\nSerfdom.~\nKanye West.~\nWomen's suffrage.~\nChildren on leashes.~\nHarry Potter erotica.~\nThe Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy.~\nLance Armstrong's missing testicle.~\nParting the Red Sea.~\nThe Amish.~\nDead babies.~\nChild beauty pageants.~\nAXE Body Spray.~\nCentaurs.~\nCopping a feel.~\nGrandma.~\nFamine.~\nThe Trail of Tears.~\nThe miracle of childbirth.~\nFinger painting.~\nA monkey smoking a cigar.~\nThe Make-A-Wish® Foundation.~\nAnal beads.~\nThe Force.~\nKamikaze pilots.~\nDry heaving.~\nActive listening.~\nGhosts.~\nThe Hustle.~\nPeeing a little bit.~\nAnother goddamn vampire movie.~\nShapeshifters.~\nThe Care Bear Stare.~\nHot cheese.~\nA mopey zoo lion.~\nA defective condom.~\nTeenage pregnancy.~\nA Bop It™.~\nExpecting a burp and vomiting on the floor.~\nHorrifying laser hair removal accidents.~\nBoogers.~\nUnfathomable stupidity.~\nBreaking out into song and dance.~\nSoup that is too hot.~\nMorgan Freeman's voice.~\nGetting naked and watching Nickelodeon.~\nMechaHitler.~\nFlying sex snakes.~\nThe true meaning of Christmas.~\nMy inner demons.~\nPac-Man uncontrollably guzzling cum.~\nMy vagina.~\nA homoerotic volleyball montage.~\nActually taking candy from a baby.~\nCrystal meth.~\nExactly what you'd expect.~\nNatural male enhancement.~\nPassive-aggressive Post-it notes.~\nInappropriate yodeling.~\nLady Gaga.~\nThe Little Engine That Could.~\nVigilante justice.~\nA death ray.~\nPoor life choices.~\nA gentle caress of the inner thigh.~\nEmbryonic stem cells.~\nNicolas Cage.~\nFiring a rifle into the air while balls deep in a squealing hog.~\nSwitching to Geico®.~\nThe chronic.~\nErectile dysfunction.~\nHome video of Oprah sobbing into a Lean Cuisine®.~\nA bucket of fish heads.~\n50,000 volts straight to the nipples.~\nBeing fat and stupid.~\nHospice care.~\nA pyramid of severed heads.~\nGetting married, having a few kids, buying some stuff, retiring to Florida, and dying.~\nA subscription to Men's Fitness.~\nCrucifixion.~\nA micropig wearing a tiny raincoat and booties.~\nSome god-damn peace and quiet.~\nUsed panties.~\nA tribe of warrior women.~\nThe penny whistle solo from \"My Heart Will Go On.\"~\nAn oversized lollipop.~\nHelplessly giggling at the mention of Hutus and Tutsis.~\nNot wearing pants.~\nConsensual sex.~\nHer Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II.~\nFunky fresh rhymes.~\nThe art of seduction.~\nThe Devil himself.~\nAdvice from a wise, old black man.~\nDestroying the evidence.~\nThe light of a billion suns.~\nWet dreams.~\nSynergistic management solutions.~\nGrowing a pair.~\nSilence.~\nAn M16 assault rifle.~\nPoopy diapers.~\nA live studio audience.~\nThe Great Depression.~\nA spastic nerd.~\nRush Limbaugh's soft, shitty body.~\nTickling Sean Hannity, even after he tells you to stop.~\nStalin.~\nBrown people.~\nRehab.~\nCapturing Newt Gingrich and forcing him to dance in a monkey suit.~\nBattlefield amputations.~\nAn uppercut.~\nShiny objects.~\nAn ugly face.~\nMenstrual rage.~\nA bitch slap.~\nOne trillion dollars.~\nChunks of dead prostitute.~\nThe entire Mormon Tabernacle Choir.~\nThe female orgasm.~\nExtremely tight pants.~\nThe Boy Scouts of America.~\nStormtroopers.~\nThrowing a virgin into a volcano.~\nGetting in her pants, politely.~\nGladiatorial combat.~\nGood grammar.~\nHipsters.~\nGandalf.~\nGenetically engineered super-soldiers.~\nGeorge Clooney's musk.~\nGetting abducted by Peter Pan.~\nEating an albino.~\nEnormous Scandinavian women.~\nFabricating statistics.~\nFinding a skeleton.~\nSuicidal thoughts.~\nDancing with a broom.~\nDeflowering the princess.~\nDorito breath.~\nOne thousand Slim Jims.~\nMy machete.~\nOverpowering your father.~\nOminous background music.~\nMedia coverage.~\nMaking the penises kiss.~\nMoral ambiguity.~\nMedieval Times® Dinner & Tournament.~\nMad hacky-sack skills.~\nJust the tip.~\nLiterally eating shit.~\nLeveling up.~\nInsatiable bloodlust.~\nHistorical revisionism.~\nJean-Claude Van Damme.~\nJafar.~\nThe boners of the elderly.~\nThe economy.~\nStatistically validated stereotypes.~\nSudden Poop Explosion Disease.~\nSlow motion.~\nSpace muffins.~\nSexual humiliation.~\nSexy Siamese twins.~\nSanta Claus.~\nScrotum tickling.~\nRipping into a man's chest and pulling out his still-beating heart.~\nRyan Gosling riding in on a white horse.~\nQuivering jowls.~\nRevenge fucking.~\nPistol-whipping a hostage.~\nQuiche.~\nZeus's sexual appetites.~\nWords, words, words.~\nTripping balls.~\nBeing a busy adult with many important things to do.~\nThe four arms of Vishnu.~\nThe shambling corpse of Larry King.~\nThe hiccups.~\nThe harsh light of day.~\nThe Gulags.~\nThe Fanta® girls.~\nA big black dick.~\nA beached whale.~\nA low standard of living.~\nA nuanced critique.~\nA bloody pacifier.~\nA crappy little hand.~\nShaft.~\nBeing a dinosaur.~\nBeating your wives.~\nNeil Patrick Harris.~\nCoughing into a vagina.~\nCarnies.~\nNubile slave boys.~\nBosnian chicken farmers.~\nA web of lies.~\nA rival dojo.~\nA passionate Latino lover.~\nPanty raids.~\nAppreciative snapping.~\nApologizing.~\nClams.~\nA woman scorned.~\nBeing awesome at sex.~\nSpring break!~\nAnother shot of morphine.~\nDining with cardboard cutouts of the cast of \"Friends.\"~\nA soulful rendition of \"Ol' Man River.\"~\nMaking a friend.~\nA sweaty, panting leather daddy.~\nIntimacy problems.~\nThe new Radiohead album.~\nPretty Pretty Princess Dress-Up Board Game®.~\nA man in yoga pants with a ponytail and feather earrings.~\nAn army of skeletons.~\nA squadron of moles wearing aviator goggles.~\nBeefin' over turf.~\nThe Google.~\nBullshit.~\nA sweet spaceship.~\nA 55-gallon drum of lube.~\nSpecial musical guest, Cher.~\nThe human body.~\nMild autism.~\nNunchuck moves.~\nWhipping a disobedient slave.~\nAn ether-soaked rag.~\nOncoming traffic.~\nA dollop of sour cream.~\nA slightly shittier parallel universe.~\nMy first kill.~\nBoris the Soviet Love Hammer.~\nThe grey nutrient broth that sustains Mitt Romney.~\nTiny nipples.~\nPower.~\nDeath by Steven Seagal.~\nA Burmese tiger pit.~\nBasic human decency.~\nGrandpa's ashes.~\nOne Ring to rule them all.~\nThe day the birds attacked.~\nFetal alcohol syndrome.~\nGraphic violence, adult language, and some sexual content.~\nA bigger, blacker dick.~\nThe mere concept of Applebee's®.~\nA sad fat dragon with no friends.~\nA piñata full of scorpions.~\nExisting.~\nHillary Clinton's death stare.~\nCatastrophic urethral trauma.~\nDouble penetration.~\nDaddy's belt.~\nSwiftly achieving orgasm.~\nMooing.~\nRising from the grave.~\nSubduing a grizzly bear and making her your wife.~\nSome really fucked-up shit.~\nWeapons-grade plutonium.~\nAll of this blood.~\nScrotal frostbite.~\nTaking a man's eyes and balls out and putting his eyes where his balls go and then his balls in the eye holes.~\nThe mixing of the races.~\nPumping out a baby every nine months.~\nTongue.~\nLoki, the trickster god.~\nWhining like a little bitch.~\nWearing an octopus for a hat.~\nAn unhinged ferris wheel rolling toward the sea.~\nFinding Waldo.~\nUpgrading homeless people to mobile hotspots.~\nA magic hippie love cloud.~\nFuck Mountain.~\nLiving in a trashcan.~\nThe corporations.~\nGetting hilariously gang-banged by the Blue Man Group.~\nJeff Goldblum.~\nSurvivor's guilt.~\nMe.~\nAll my friends dying.~\nShutting the fuck up.~\nAn ass disaster.~\nSome kind of bird-man.~\nThe entire Internet.~\nGoing around punching people.~\nA boo-boo.~\nIndescribable loneliness.~\nHaving sex on top of a pizza.~\nChugging a lava lamp.~\nWarm, velvety muppet sex.~\nRunning naked through a mall, pissing and shitting everywhere.~\nNothing.~\nSamuel L. Jackson.~\nSelf-flagellation.~\nThe systematic destruction of an entire people and their way of life.~\nThe Quesadilla Explosion Salad™ from Chili's®.~\nReverse cowgirl.~\nVietnam flashbacks.~\nActually getting shot, for real.~\nNot having sex.~\nCock.~\nDying alone and in pain.~\nA cop who is also a dog.~\nThe way white people is.~\nGay aliens.~\nThe primal, ball-slapping sex your parents are having right now.~\nA cat video so cute that your eyes roll back and your spine slides out of your anus.~\nA lamprey swimming up the toilet and latching onto your taint.~\nSlapping a racist old lady.~\nA black male in his early 20s, last seen wearing a hoodie.~\nJumping out at people.~\nThree months in the hole.~\nBlood farts.~\nThe Land of Chocolate.~\nA botched circumcision.~\nMy manservant, Claude.~\nVomiting mid-blowjob.~\nLetting everyone down.~\nHaving shotguns for legs.~\nBill Clinton, naked on a bearskin rug with a saxophone.~\nMufasa's death scene.~\nThe Harlem Globetrotters.~\nDemonic possession.~\nFisting.~\nThe thin veneer of situational causality that underlies porn.~\nGirls that always be textin'.~\nBlowing some dudes in an alley.~\nA spontaneous conga line.~\nA vagina that leads to another dimension.~\nDisco fever.~\nGetting your dick stuck in a Chinese finger trap with another dick.~\nDrinking ten 5-hour ENERGYs® to get fifty continuous hours of energy.~\nSneezing, farting, and coming at the same time.~\nSome douche with an acoustic guitar.~\nSpending lots of money.~\nPutting an entire peanut butter and jelly sandwich into the VCR.~\nAn unstoppable wave of fire ants.~\nA greased-up Matthew McConaughey.~\nFlying robots that kill people.~\nUnlimited soup, salad, and breadsticks.~\nCrying into the pages of Sylvia Plath.~\nThe moist, demanding chasm of his mouth.~\nFilling every orifice with butterscotch pudding.~\nAn all-midget production of Shakespeare's *Richard III*.~\nScreaming like a maniac.~\nNot contributing to society in any meaningful way.~\nA pile of squirming bodies.~\nBuying the right pants to be cool.~\nRoland the Farter, flatulist to the king.~\nThat ass.~\nA surprising amount of hair.~\nEating Tom Selleck's mustache to gain his powers.~\nVelcro™.~\nA PowerPoint presentation.~\nCrazy opium eyes.~\n10 Incredible Facts About the Anus.~\nAn interracial handshake.~\nModerate-to-severe joint pain.~\nFinally finishing off the Indians.~\nSugar madness.~\nActual mutants with medical conditions and no superpowers.~\nThe secret formula for ultimate female satisfaction.~\nThe complex geopolitical quagmire that is the Middle East.~\nFucking a corpse back to life.~\nNeil Diamond's Greatest Hits.~\nCalculating every mannerism so as not to suggest homosexuality.~\nWhatever a McRib® is made of.~\nNo clothes on, penis in vagina.~\nAll the single ladies.~\nWhispering all sexy.~\nHow awesome I am.~\nAss to mouth.~\nSmoking crack, for instance.~\nFalling into the toilet.~\nA dance move that's just sex.~\nThe size of my penis.~\nSome sort of Asian.~\nA hopeless amount of spiders.~\nParty Mexicans.~\nDrinking responsibly.~\nThe safe word.~\nAngelheaded hipsters burning for the ancient heavenly connection to the starry dynamo in the machinery of night.~\nBouncing up and down.~\nJizz.~\nAmbiguous sarcasm.~\nA shiny rock that proves I love you.~\nDem titties.~\nMy worthless son.~\nExploding pigeons.~\nA Ugandan warlord.~\nMy sex dungeon.~\nA kiss on the lips.~\nChild Protective Services.~\nA Native American who solves crimes by going into the spirit world.~\nDoo-doo.~\nThe peaceful and nonthreatening rise of China.~\nSports.~\nA fart.~\nUnquestioning obedience.~\nThree consecutive seconds of happiness.~\nGrammar nazis who are also regular Nazis.~\nSnorting coke off a clown's boner.~\nAfrica.~\nDepression.~\nA horse with no legs.~\nThe euphoric rush of strangling a drifter.~\nKhakis.~\nInterspecies marriage.~\nA gender identity that can only be conveyed through slam poetry.~\nAlmost giving money to a homeless person.~\nStuff a child's face with Fun Dip® until he starts having fun.~\nWhat Jesus would do.~\nA for-real lizard that spits blood from its eyes.~\nBlackula.~\nThe tiniest shred of evidence that God is real.~\nMy dad's dumb fucking face.~\nPrince Ali, fabulous he, Ali Ababwa.~\nA manhole.~\nA sex goblin with a carnival penis.~\nA bunch of idiots playing a card game instead of interacting like normal humans.~\nA sex comet from Neptune that plunges the Earth into eternal sexiness.~\nSharks with legs.~\nInjecting speed into one arm and horse tranquilizer into the other.~\nLots and lots of abortions.~\nSeeing things from Hitler's perspective~\nToo much cocaine.~\nDoing the right stuff to her nipples.~\nGiant sperm from outer space.~\nOil!~\nEnnui.~\nA powered exoskeleton.~\nA disappointing salad.~\nMom's new boyfriend.~\nUnrelenting genital punishment.~\nDenzel.~\nThe swim team, all at once.~\nThe eight gay warlocks who dictate the rules of fashion.~\nBeing nine years old.~\nThe unbelievable world of mushrooms.~\nThe Abercrombie & Fitch lifestyle.~\nVegetarian options.~\nMy first period.~\nHaving been dead for a while.~\nBackwards knees.~\nBeing paralyzed from the neck down.~\nSeeing my village burned and my family slaughtered before my eyes.~\nA zero-risk way to make $2,000 from home.~\nA crazy little thing called love.~\nAncient Athenian boy-fucking~\nOut-of-this-world bazongas.~\nThe ghost of Marlon Brando.~\nThe basic suffering that pervades all of existence.~\nBeing worshipped as the one true God.~\nFiguring out how to have sex with a dolphin.~\nAll these decorative pillows.~\nA mouthful of potato salad.~\nRussian super-tuberculosis.~\nA reason not to commit suicide.~\nGoing to a high school reunion on ketamine.~\nThe passage of time.~\nChild support payments.~\nChanging a person's mind with logic and facts.~\nMy boyfriend's stupid penis.~\nThe tiger that killed my father.~\nGenghis Khan's DNA.~\nBoring vaginal sex.~\n40 acres and a mule.~\nA whole new kind of porn.~\nSlowly easing down onto a cucumber.~\nWearing glasses and sounding smart.~\nAIDS monkeys.~\nA team of lawyers.~\nGetting drive-by shot.~\nNot believing in giraffes.~\nAnal fissures like you wouldn't believe.~\nA giant powdery manbaby.~\nCutting off a flamingo's legs with garden shears.~\nP.F. Chang himself.~\nAn uninterrupted history of imperialism and exploitation.~\nA one-way ticket to Gary, Indiana.~\nDaddy's credit card.~\nSeptember 11th, 2001.~\nAn unforgettable quinceañera.~\nDeez nuts.~\nSocial justice warriors with flamethrowers of compassion.~\nSome shit-hot guitar licks.~\nButt stuff.~\nBlackface.~\nBlowjobs for everyone.~\nGetting eaten alive by Guy Fieri.~\nWestern standards of beauty.~\nEjaculating live bees and the bees are angry.~\nMy dead son's baseball glove.~\nGetting caught by the police and going to jail.~\nA face full of horse cum.~\nFree ice cream, yo.~\nThe white half of Barack Obama.~\nThe black half of Barack Obama.~\nAn inability to form meaningful relationships.~\nA bass drop so huge it tears the starry vault asunder to reveal the face of God.~\nGrowing up chained to a radiator in perpetual darkness.~\nShitting all over the floor like a bad, bad girl.~\nA buttload of candy.~\nSucking all the milk out of a yak.~\nBullets.~\nA man who is so cool that he rides on a motorcycle.~\nSudden penis loss.~\nGetting all offended.~\nCrying and shitting and eating spaghetti.~\nOne unforgettable night of passion.~\nBeing popular and good at sports.~\nFilling a man's anus with concrete.~\nTwo whales fucking the shit out of eachother.~\nCool, relateable cancer teens.~\nThe amount of gay I am.~\nA possible Muslim.~\nUnsheathing my massive horse cock.~\nA bowl of gourds.~\nThe male gaze.~\nThe power of the Dark Side.~\nRipping a dog in half.~\nA constant need for validation.~\nMeaningless sex.~\nSuch a big boy.~\nThrowing stones at a man until he dies.~\nCancer.~\nLike a million alligators.~\nEating together like a god damn family for once.~\nCute boys.~\nPussy.~\nBeing a terrible mother.~\nNever having sex again.~\nA pizza guy who fucked up.~\nA whole lotta woman.~\nThe all-new Nissan Pathfinder with 0.9% APR financing!~\nA peyote-fueled vision quest.~\nKale.~\nBreastfeeding a ten year old.~\nCrippling social anxiety.~\nImmortality cream.~\nTexas.~\nTeaching a girl how to handjob the penis.~\nA turd.~\nShapes and colors.~\nWhatever you wish, mother.~\nThe haunting stare of an Iraqi child.~\nRobots who just want to party.~\nA self-microwaving burrito.~\nForgetting grandma's first name.~\nOur new Buffalo Chicken Dippers®!~\nTreasures beyond your wildest dreams.~\nGetting shot out of a cannon.~\nThe sweet song of sword against and the braying of mighty war beasts.~\nWalking into a glass door.~\nThe color \"puce\".~\nEvery ounce of charisma left in Mick Jagger's tired body.~\nThe eighth graders.~\nSetting my balls on fire and cartwheeling to Ohio.~\nThe dentist.~\nGwyneth Paltrow's opinions.~\nTurning the rivers red with the blood of infidels.~\nRabies.~\nImportant news about Taylor Swift.~\nEjaculating inside another man's wife.~}}{=(output):{cycle({uses}):{topic}}}",
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