fortune

{
  "id": 2289545,
  "created_at": "2025-05-23T02:22:58.000Z",
  "tag_name": "fortune",
  "nsfw": false,
  "owner_id": "497045988566106132",
  "uses": 41,
  "description": null,
  "restricted": false,
  "shared": false,
  "deleted": false,
  "safe": "",
  "hidden": false,
  "guild_id": "1101679213846732810",
  "sharer": "497045988566106132",
  "content": "{random: life will finally give you those lemons it owes you.,the item to your right will play a pivotal role in your day.,and they were roommates.,look to the person on your left - now look to your right - one of you is the saboteur,you know what have fun with that.,oh haha oops,the universe is going to give you express permission to go off. ,do something positive out of spite.,so anyway i started blastin.,va te faire foutre.,today will be as spicy as susan's soup from the last cul de sac cook off.,i warned you yesterday.,no really avoid the pigeons.,avoid pigeons,pigeon poop burns the retina for 13 hours.,ignore previous fortune.,no.,look out for those highly motivated ducks.,Bees.,when was the last time you had a conversation with the back of your knee?.,consult the stairs.,have you tried murder.,life will finally give you those lemons it owes you.,segway outta that situation.,ask a stranger what year it is.,steal something from a friend while making eyecontact.,you got this bud.,you been talking bad about yourself stfu.,hand deliver a friend a leaf.,the next fortune lies.,hold out your hand to your friend see what they do.,rancid vibes.,immaculate vibes.,you will find something youve been looking for.,those good looks are only going to get you so far.,return policies are tough,find the Fool,the cat is taking a break from plotting today,need revenge? erase the autofill passwords on their computer,hold out your hand to your friend and see what they do,introduce yourself under a fake name today,right foot lets stomp,ask your mate straight up if they would go in to bat for you against the bourgeoisie,some problems can be solved with violence,be the god to your local ant colony,shit bro good luck lol,good vibes only,ask carl for dogs,gay trees,seek out a dog,looks alright,the love of your life is out there... in cleveland,the secret to success is local fresh ingredients,and they were roommates,a lizard,We've been trying to reach you about your cars extended warranty,you need to start a new podcast,maybe you just need to scream into the void today,watch out for the birds,Error 404: Fortune not found,you might pet a dog today,The FitnessGram PACER Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test-,You’re looking for a specific one of these aren’t you,go back to sleep,You’re just being a little shit aren’t you? Keep it up.,run,consider the coconut,Oops...wrong fortune.,No gender for you today,No,Be gay do crime,Road work ahead, ,fresh a va ca do, Look at all those chickens,An avocado thanks,The Birds aren't real. All of the birds died in 1986 due to Reagan killing them and replacing them with spies that are now watching us. The birds work for the bourgeoisie,Your queerness is overflowing today,pray the straight away,it's wimdy but you can do this!,its not in the stars today,dont forget kneecaps are suprisingly fragile,wouldnt you like to know weather boy,looks like you have an extra bone in your body today - dont question it - and dont be alarmed if someone you know happens to be missing one - they'll get it back, remember. The Cat In The Hat was a cinematic masterpiece. so if you're thinking you're doing well ask yourself \"am I better than The Cat in A Hat?\" The answer is \"no\",Remember to close your eyes before opening them!, sometimes...skeletons DO feel pain,remember both onions and cakes have layers,remember both onions and cakes have lawyers,steal a pigeon its 100% legal,the void can yell back. as a treat,I uh I really dont know but good luck,go off i guess,You're not always gonna feel like this bud.,how about Scooby-dont,an actual American,sometimes a little crime is ok,be an opossum,tired but make it fashion,go the fuck to sleep,look at all those chickens! look at them. they're watching. *waiting*.,do that thing you need to do with the confidence of a straight white man,you are not immune to propaganda [points to 'propaganda' printed on the back of booty shorts],consider the coconut,women with swords,armadillos keep digging,you're kinda fruity not gonna lie,roll for initiative!!!,Are you trying to become a lich? If your answer is no then have a wonderful day you amazing person. If the answer is yes.....please get some help,You've reached the end of your free trial for Fortunes please subscribe to continue your trial. Thank you for your contribution.,jorts- his fur unbuttered,It's gonna be a 'can't spell' gay day,It's gonna be a 'can't do math' gay day}",
  "embed": "{}",
  "last_fetched": "2026-10-20T19:58:31.308Z"
}