roast

{
  "id": 221072,
  "created_at": "2020-06-21T18:41:40.000Z",
  "tag_name": "roast",
  "nsfw": false,
  "owner_id": "465970731612635136",
  "uses": 32,
  "description": null,
  "restricted": false,
  "shared": false,
  "deleted": false,
  "safe": "",
  "hidden": false,
  "guild_id": "444289793141112864",
  "sharer": "465970731612635136",
  "content": "{require({rand:What makes you think I work for you?~You don't pay my salary.~God, ugh, no. Not today, please.~I guess, but only if you stop standing so close to me ... and get a breath mint.~Nah, I don't think so. Not today.}):444290564246994954,565524323687727125,677554526617862155}{delete}{silence}\n{random:{target(mention) } My phone battery lasts longer than your relationships.,{target(mention) } Oh you’re talking to me? I thought you only talked behind my back.,{target(mention) } My name must taste good because it’s always in your mouth.,{target(mention) } Don’t you get tired of putting make-up on two faces every morning?,{target(mention) } Too bad you can’t count jumping to conclusions and running your mouth as exercise.,{target(mention) } Is your drama going to be an intermission soon?,{target(mention) } I’m an acquired taste. If you don’t like me acquire some taste. ,{target(mention) } If I wanted a bitch I would have bought a dog.,{target(mention) } My business is my business. Unless you’re a thong, get out of my ass. ,{target(mention) } It’s a shame you can’t Photoshop your personality.,{target(mention) } I don’t sugarcoat shit. I’m not Willy Wonka.,{target(mention) } Acting like a prick doesn’t make yours grow bigger.,{target(mention) } Calm down. Take a deep breath and then hold it for about twenty minutes.,{target(mention) } Jealousy is a disease. Get well soon, asshole!,{target(mention) } When karma comes back to punch you in the face I want to be there in case it needs help.,{target(mention) } You have more faces than Mount Rushmore.,{target(mention) } Sorry __sarcasm__ falls out of my mouth like bullshit falls out of yours.,{target(mention) } Don’t mistake my silence for weakness. No one plans a murder out loud.,{target(mention) } Yes I'm an asshole — just not yours.,{target(mention) } I’m sorry you got offended that one time you were treated the way you treat everyone all the time.,{target(mention) } Maybe you should eat make-up so you’ll be pretty on the inside too.,{target(mention) } Being an asshole is a tough job but someone has to do it.,{target(mention) } My middle finger gets a boner every time I see you.,{target(mention) } Whoever told you to be yourself gave you really bad advice.,{target(mention) } If I had a face like yours I’d sue my parents.,{target(mention) } Aww it’s so cute when you try to talk about things you don’t understand.,{target(mention) } Is there an app I can download to make you disappear?,{target(mention) } I’m visualising duct tape over your mouth.,{target(mention) } 90% of your ‘beauty’ could be removed with a Kleenex.,{target(mention) } I suggest you do a little soul searching. You might just find one.,{target(mention) } My hair straightener is hotter than you.,{target(mention) } I’d smack you but that would be animal abuse.,{target(mention) } If you’re going to be a smart ass first you have to be smart - otherwise you’re just an ass.,{target(mention) } I’m not an astronomer but I am pretty sure the earth revolves around the sun and not you.,{target(mention) } Your face is fine but you will have to put a bag over that personality.,{target(mention) } It’s scary to think people like you are allowed to vote. ,{target(mention) } Keep rolling your eyes. Maybe you’ll find your brain back there.,{target(mention) } I’m sorry what language are you speaking? It sounds like bullshit.,{target(mention) } Everyone brings happiness to a room. I do when I enter and you do when you leave.,{target(mention) } You’re like a plunger. You like to bring up old shit.,{target(mention) } I keep thinking you can’t get any dumber and you keep proving me wrong.,{target(mention) }  I am not ignoring you. I am simply giving you time to reflect on what an idiot you are being.,{target(mention) } You’re the reason I prefer animals to people.,{target(mention) } I’d explain it to you but I left my English-to-Dumbass Dictionary at home.,Roses are red.\nYour blood is too.\nYou look like a warthog\nAnd belong in a zoo.\nBut hey don't worry\nI'll be there too.\nNot in the cage\nBut laughing at you.,{target(mention) } Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.,{target(mention) } Yo mama is so ugly she made my happy meal cry.,{target(mention) } Why don't you slip into something more comfortable -  like a coma.,{target(mention) } I’m sorry that my brutal honesty inconvenienced your ego.,{target(mention) } I didn’t change. I grew up. You should try it sometime.,{target(mention) } I’m not shy. I just don’t like you.,{target(mention) } Some people should use a glue stick instead of chapstick.,{target(mention) } If you’re offended by my opinion you should hear the ones I keep to myself.,{target(mention) } No no. I am listening. It just takes me a moment to process so much stupid information all at once.}",
  "embed": "{}",
  "last_fetched": "2026-10-20T21:44:39.623Z"
}