misfortune

{
  "id": 145932,
  "created_at": "2020-04-06T06:34:15.000Z",
  "tag_name": "misfortune",
  "nsfw": false,
  "owner_id": "485753972779515933",
  "uses": 58,
  "description": null,
  "restricted": false,
  "shared": false,
  "deleted": false,
  "safe": "unrated",
  "hidden": false,
  "guild_id": "564505080297160704",
  "sharer": "485753972779515933",
  "content": "{require:Admin,MOD,STAFF [Don't Ping],Nitro Booster,Patron}\n{=(f1):\"You could prosper in the field of phonebook proofreading.}\n{=(f2):\"You're waiter is a stalker.  He knows where you live.  Have a nice day.}\n{=(f3):\"In the football game of life, you're at third down and eight.}\n{=(f4):\"You are a person of culture...bacteria culture.}\n{=(f5):\"Wise men learn more from the fools than you learn from the wise.}\n{=(f6):\"You believe in the goodness of mankind.  I pity your soul.} \n{=(f7):\"Beauty in its many-faceted forms is unattracted to you.}\n{=(f8):\"A lifetime friend shall soon be lost.}\n{=(f9):\"Your co-worker will be happy by receipt of good news.}\n{=(f10):\"From listening comes wisdom - and one-sided arguments.}\n{=(f11):\"Jimmy Hoffa is now buried in your backyard.}\n{=(f12):\"You will be snubbed in many invitations to parties}\n{=(f13):\"Time is precious, but you have wasted most of it.}\n{=(f14):\"Everywhere you go, I'll be watching you.}\n{=(f15):\"Be slow to anger.  Everyone makes mistakes - except for fortune cookie authors.}\n{=(f16):\"The time is right to make new enemies.}\n{=(f17):\"You will plan a vacation to warm, sunny Florida, then be summoned for jury duty.}\n{=(f18):\"The way taxes are now, you should have married for love.}\n{=(f19):\"You will be coming into a great fortune.  The result: 20 years to life.}\n{=(f20):\"Your confidence will make your failure more humorous to onlookers.}\n{=(f21):\"You are going to have some new clothes.  They have black and white stripes.}\n{=(f22):\"Welcome each day as a fresh new disaster.}\n{=(f23):\"You can lead a horse to water, but you can not make him take a bath.}\n{=(f24):\"You will improve your way of living - after your jail term.}\n{=(f25):\"While at a theatre, you will sit in front of children who sneeze a lot.}\n{=(f26):\"Hillin funeral home.  Call 555-3838.}\n{=(f27):\"I hope you didn't get the undercooked pork.}\n{=(f28):\"Enjoy what you have.  You are not getting any more.}\n{=(f29):\"Life is like a seesaw. There is someone lighter on the other side.}\n{=(f30):\"You are on the verge of something big - a cliff.}\n{=(f31):\"You are a lover of words.  Someday you will write a manifesto.}\n{=(f32):\"Marriage is like your job; it is bad if you hate your boss.}\n{=(f33):\"If your desires are extravagent, they will not be gained.}\n{=(f34):\"Sorry, the fortune cookie author is currently on vacation.  Come again soon.}\n{=(f35):\"You must experience failure to experience success - but you will have no success.}\n{=(f36):\"If at first you don't succeed, parachuting is not for you.}\n{=(f37):\"Be yourself at all times - nobody else wants to be you.}\n{=(f38):\"Remember: after the sunshine ther's always rain.}\n{=(f39):\"What is good luck for one is bad luck for you.}\n{=(f40):\"Even your karma is against you.}\n{=(f41):\"Truth is precious, but falsehood has a good lwawyer}\n{=(f42):\"Always look forward to the future - you're past is worth forgetting}\n{=(f43):\"Sorry, this fortune is not a winner. Please play again}\n{=(f44):\"Your lottery numbers are: 12, 12, 12, 12, 12, 12}\n{=(f45):\"People like you because you are honest and devout.  Just kidding.}\n{=(f46):\"Life to you is a one and one half star adventure.}\n{=(f47):\"A cheerful letter is on its way to you.  It had insufficient postage.}\n{=(f48):\"You will be awarded a great honor - cover of the National Enquirer}\n{=(f49):\"You are sociable and entertaining.  That is why people laugh at you}\n{=(f50):\"Do not come to this restaraunt next Thursday.  Trust me}\n{=(f51):\"A man who eats rice with chopsticks wastes time}\n{=(f52):\"Soon you will be sitting on top of the world.  It is really cold there.}\n{=(f53):\"The Physician heals but the incompetent nurse brings torment}\n{=(f54):\"This space for rent}\n{=(f55):\"A lifetime enemy shall soon be made}\n{=(f56):\"You are almost at the top.  That means you have further to fall}\n{=(f57):\"Opportunity knocked at home while you were eating}\n{=(f58):\"A very attractive lady has a message for you - it's: stop stalking me!}\n{=(f59):\"Purchase some really good medical insurance before next Thursday}\n{=(f60):\"The world is always ready to receive talent with open arms.  You have none}\n{=(f61):\"Most people desire a fortune.  You desire a cookie}\n{=(f62):\"Time is precious.  It is a shame yours is at a minimum}\n{=(f63):\"Uh oh!}\n{=(f64):\"Your ingenuity and imagination will get you poor results}\n{=(f65):\"You will \\\"Go places in life\\\":Prison, the IRS, boot camp, etc..}\n{=(f66):\"Bad sense is the master of human strife}\n{=(f67):\"It takes more than a bad memory to have bad memories}\n{=(f68):\"You got a lame fortune cookie message}\n{=(f69):\"You have a natural yearning for imperfection}\n{=(f70):\"You love Chinese food - maybe too much by the size of your waistline}\n{=(f71):\"He who places a chicken on a hill may someday have eggrolls}\n{=(f72):\"You have a magnetic personality.  However, both sides are North Pole}\n{=(f73):\"Luck is coming your way - then it will pass you on the left}\n{=(f74):\"Seek and ye shall find - provided you didn't drop it in the street}\n{=(f75):\"A koala will eat your award-winning petunias}\n{=(f76):\"You will always be surrounded by moochers}\n{=(f77):\"Your life will take on added dimensions; so will your waistline}\n{=(f78):\"You love to have a good time.  There aren't many left}\n{=(f79):\"Believe in yourself - nobody else does}\n{=(f80):\"Your waiter spit in your wanton soup}\n{=(f81):\"A diseased llama will spit in your sock drawer}\n{=(f82):\"People find it easy to resist your persuasive manner}\n{=(f83):\"Happiness measures a persons real worth, but it does not deliver electoral votes}\n{=(f84):\"You will star in a Hollywood movie.  Your co-star is Pauley Shore}\n{=(f85):\"An enemy is a debit you give yourself}\n{=(f86):\"Your honesty will be recognized - by a theif}\n{=(f87):\"A man is good-for-nothing unless educated. You do not apply}\n{=(f88):\"Don't put all your eggs in one refrigerator}\n{=(f89):\"You will travel to serene Oregon.  The reason: a subpoena}\n{=(f90):\"The food is pretty bad here.  Do not come back}\n{=(f91):\"You will be amazed how much termites can eat when you arrive at home}\n{=(f92):\"Keep your feet on the ground, even if one short guy flatters you}\n{=(f93):\"You love peace.  The feeling is not mutual}\n{=(f94):\"Perfection makes perfect.  Imperfection makes you}\n{=(f95):\"Studies show only one in three fortune cookies come true}\n{=(f96):\"A distant relative will phone you soon - he needs bail\"}\n{=(f97):\"You should be able to make money and hold on to it.  Why aren't you?}\n{=(f98):\"In God we trust; all others must pay cash}\n{=(f99):\"The show-off will show you up in a showdown}\n{=(f100):\"Your lottery numbers won last week's 12-state powerball}\n{=(f101):\"Your life's story will become a bestseller \\\"the little train that couldn't\\\"}\n{=(f102):\"Knowledge is better than riches but can not pay off credit card debts.}\n{=(rng):{range:1-102}}\n{=(ln):range:1-69}\n{=(pb):range:1-26}",
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  "last_fetched": "2026-10-20T21:11:36.843Z"
}