yomama

{
  "id": 1097866,
  "created_at": "2021-10-08T17:45:30.000Z",
  "tag_name": "yomama",
  "nsfw": false,
  "owner_id": "472726973970644992",
  "uses": 4,
  "description": null,
  "restricted": false,
  "shared": false,
  "deleted": false,
  "safe": "unrated",
  "hidden": false,
  "guild_id": "710515520876839006",
  "sharer": "472726973970644992",
  "content": "",
  "embed": "{\"color\": 5198940, \"thumbnail\": {\"url\": \"https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/youtube/images/c/cf/YoMama.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20180624120120\"}, \"description\": \"{rand:\\n\\nYo mama so old, she walked out of a museum and the alarm went off!~\\nYo mama so old that when she was in school, there was no history class.~\\nYo mama so old, she knew Burger King while he was still a prince.~\\nYo mama so old, her birth certificate is in Roman numerals.~\\nYo mama so old, when I told her to act her age, she turned to dust!~\\nYo mama so old, she remembers egypt before the pyramids!~\\n\\nYo mama so ugly, she threw a boomerang, and it refused to come back.~\\nYo mama so ugly, she made One Direction go the other direction.~\\nYo mama so ugly, her home security system is a portrait of her beside the front door.~\\nYo mama so ugly that when she went to the zoo, the lions and tigers hid from her.~\\nYo mama so ugly, when she smiled at a police officer, she was arrested for indecent exposure!~\\nYo mama so ugly, her portraits hang themselves!~\\nYo mama so ugly, her birth certificate is an apology letter!~\\nYo mama so ugly, ghosts are scared of her!~\\nYo mama so ugly, she was the poster child for birth control! (ouch)!~\\nYo mama so ugly, not even goldfish crackers smile back...~\\nYo mama so ugly, she turned medusa to stone.~\\nYo mama so ugly, she made an onion cry!~\\nYo mama so ugly, you thought the monsters in your closet were her friends.~\\nYo mama so ugly, I called her a pig yesterday and she was flattered!~\\nYo mama so ugly, she made hello kitty say goodbye.~\\nYo mama so ugly, she needs a permit to share her selfies.~\\n\\nYo mama so dumb, she plays pool in her bathing suit.~\\nYo mama so dense, it takes her two hours to watch 60 Minutes.~\\nYo mama so dumb, she tried to climb Mountain Dew.~\\nYo mama so dumb, she stared at a cup of orange juice for 12 hours because it said “concentrate.”~\\nYo mama so stupid, she put airbags on her computer in case it crashed.~\\nYo mama so dumb, when I said, “Drinks on the house,” she got a ladder.~\\nYo mama so supid, she climbed a tree and thought she was the branch manager.~\\nYo mama so dumb, she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.~\\nYo mama so dumb, she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl.~\\nYo mama so stupid, she throws baseballs at batman!~\\nYo mama so stupid, she sold her car for gas money!~\\nYo mama so stupid, when the judge said, “Order in the court,” she asked for fries and a shake.~\\nYo mama so stupid, she tried to book an appointment with Dr. Pepper!~\\nYo mama so stupid, she returned a doughnut because it had a hole in it!~\\nYo mama so stupid, she has officially beaten out diamonds to be the densest thing on earth!~\\nYo mama so dull, she pulled an all-nighter studying for a drug test.~\\nYo mama so dim, when I told her to make up her mind, she rubbed lipstick on her forehead!~\\nYo mama so stupid, her IQ test came back negative!~\\nYo mama so stupid, she sits on the TV to watch the couch!~\\nYo mama so dumb, she took a bow and arrow to target.~\\nYo mama so stupid, she bought a can of knock-out gas and hit someone on the head with it.~\\n\\nYo mama so fat, when she went to KFC and the cashier asked what size bucket she wanted, she said, \\\"The one on the roof!\\\"~\\nYo mama so fat, she wakes up on both sides of the bed!~\\nYo mama so fat, when she walks on the beach, she brings the tide in.~\\nYo mama so fat, she has her own gravitational pull!~\\nYo mama so fat, you have to take two trains and a bus to get to her good side!~\\nYo mama so fat, when she walked past the TV, I missed three episodes.~\\nYo mama so fat, her bathroom scale shows her phone number.~\\nYo mama so fat, her blood type is Nutella.~\\nYo mama so fat, if she bought a fur coat, the whole species would go extinct.~\\nYo mama so fat, when she goes camping, the bears hide their food!~\\nYo mama so fat, she has to take selfies in panorama mode!~\\nYo mama so fat, she wears 2 watches; one for each time zone she's in!~\\nYo mama so fat, Snorlax evolves into HER!~\\nYo mama so fat, when she climbed into a monster truck, it became a low-rider!~\\nYo mama so fat, she needs cheat codes for wii fit!~\\nYo mama so fat, she had to be baptised at sea world!~\\nYo mama so fat, when dracla sucked her blood, he got diebetes!~\\nYo mama so fat, her belly button gets home 5 minutes before she does!~\\nYo mama so fat, when she went to school, she sat next to the whole class!~\\nYo mama so fat, if she went on a diet, she would end world hunger!~\\nYo mama so fat, the cops use her as a roadblock.~\\nYo mama so fat, when she left the house in high-heels, she came back wearing flip-flops!~\\nTo mama so fat, when she went skydiving, she caused a solar eclipse!~\\nYo mama so fat, when she went swimming in the ocean, Britian colonized her!~\\nYo mama so fat, when she went to McDonalds, they had to call Wendy's for backup!~\\nYo mama so fat, when she went to Burger King, they crowned her as emperess!~\\nYo mama so fat, she's got more pounds on her than the British Mint!~\\nYo mama so fat, people call her the last chair bender.~\\nYo mama so fat, when she sat down, Pangaea split.~\\nYo mama so fat, she irons her pants in the driveway!~\\nYo mama so fat, when she was born, there wasn't a stork strong enough to deliver her. They had to get a crane.~\\n\\nYo mama so hairy, she shaves with a weed whacker!~\\nYo mama so hairy, bigfoot took her picture!~\\nYo mama so hairy, her hugs give you rugburns.~\\nYo mama so hairy, when she fell asleep at the zoo, she woke up in a cage!~\\nYo mama so hairy, when she went to see Star Wars, everyone thought Chewbakka was making a promotional appearance!~\\n\\nYo mama's teeth are so yellow, when the dentist looked in her mouth, he thought he was watching the simpsons!~\\nYo mama's teeth are so yellow, cars slow down when she smiles.~\\n\\nYo mama so nasty, she went swimming and made the Dead Sea.~\\n\\nYo mama so short, when she went to see Santa, he told her to get back to work.~\\nYo mama so short, she has to reach up to tie her shoes!~\\nYo mama so short, she doesn't even have to open the door to enter her house!~\\n\\nYo mama so scary, she walked into a haunted house with a ticket and walked out with a job offer!~\\n\\nYo mama so desperate, she married your dad! (Ouch!)~\\n\\nYo mama so wonderful, I have nothing bad to say about her. Tell her you love her next time you see her - she is an incredible person and she deserves it.~\\n}\"}",
  "last_fetched": "2026-10-20T17:46:32.998Z"
}